Adult Contemporary

SantanaLike many businesses, my office has music being piped throughout the entire building. It wouldn’t be so bad but their choice of station leaves a lot to be desired.

It’s KOST 103.5, Southern California’s Soft Rock with Less Talk, and it’s the reason I wear my iPod pretty much all the time while at work. Remember that weird girl you dated with the crazy eyes and the Thomas Kincade, Wyland, and Anne Geddes prints all over her apartment? This is the station she listened to while she read her romance novels. (And no, I’m so not speaking from experience there…)

To put it quite plainy, their playlist sucks. I mean, really sucks. There are only so many times any sane person can listen to this song before they go crazy and yell, “Blind or not, musical genius or not–fuck you, fuckin’ Stevie Wonder!” They also tend to trim the songs if they sound to “edgy” for the station’s format. Screw you, I say. I like my Journey songs with full guitar solos, not completely removed as they shamelessly did to “Lights,” making it at least 30 seconds shorter and only a shell of its former self. Might as well not even play the fucking song if you’re going to do that. I also like Santana, not Carlos Santana featuring some Top 40 Douchey McDouchenozzle, which barely even qualifies as a Santana song.

At present, I take my 8GB iPod Touch to work because I use many of its apps on a daily basis and the battery on my 30GB iPod is almost dead. And up until yesterday, I was beginning to think that the capacity was a bit on the small side–until I hit Shuffle. That makes me happy because the chances of me hearing the same song two days in a row are definitely lower than the chances of KOST torturing the office with another gem from their vast music library.

Ahem. Sorry about all that. Here’s some earwash, or at least something that will get that Celine Dion out of your head.

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