Way back in 2017, I came up with this idea to start writing posts about quotes from The Simpsons that the family uses daily. I started out with five quotes per post and decided that I had enough of them to keep me going for quite a while.
At least that was the plan. The next entry for this series? May 4, 2018. Yeahhhhh.
But man, did you choose a good time to read this because guess what? Almost five years later, I’m going to entertain you with the third entry to this series! You lucky bastards, you! So here we go.
1. Yes, I’m gonna marry a carrot.
Situation: When Lisa decides to become vegetarian, she is teased by classmates and one of them asks if she is going to marry a carrot. Lisa sarcastically replies, “Yes, I’m going to marry a carrot” — and the classmates seem to believe her.
Family Usage: Often used when in the same kind of scenario when the only sensible response requires extreme sarcasm.
Anthony (looking out the window at the rain): Dad, still gonna wash your car like you said you were?
Me: Yes, I’m going to marry a carrot.
2. That’ll make your bull run!
Situation: John, owner of Cockamamies, is appraising Marge’s “family heirloom” which turns out to be one of the J&R Whiskey Liquor Lads with some whiskey still inside. John says this after he takes a swig of the stuff.
Family Usage: Pretty much whenever something is pleasingly unexpected, food in particular.
Ann: Here, try this.
Me: Whoa, that’ll make your bull run!
3. How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid?
Situation: In “Bart Sells His Soul,” this is Bart’s reply to Milhouse’s explanation of what a soul is and all that it is capable of doing — including swimming in case you drown and having wheels should you die in the middle of the desert and it has to drive to the nearest cemetery.
Family Usage: It’s a typical response whenever we hear someone say something so incredibly stupid — whether they are wearing glasses or not.
Donald Trump (on TV): [saying anything].
Me: How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid?
4. Willy hears ya. Willy don’t care.
Situation: When Principal Skinner declares from the roof of Springfield Elementary that he, Bart and Mrs. Krabappel have barricaded themselves inside, this is Willy’s reply as he keeps on working.
Family Usage: Helpful when ignoring neighbors which I tend to do quite often.
Neighbor (from across the street): Dave, did you get any mail yesterday?
Me (walking toward the house after just getting home): Willy hears ya. Willy don’t care.
5. Juuuust a minute.
Situation: An angry mob stands outside La Maison Derrière waiting to destroy it. Ned Flanders rings the doorbell and asks Belle, the owner, if she could “step outside for a twinkle” so they can talk, and “Juuust a minute” is her reply.
Family Usage: More often than not, used when someone just finished a task and finally has a moment to rest. Or when our cat Benny wants to jump on my lap and go to sleep and I’m busy, you know, blogging or something (which actually just happened).
Benny (circling me, standing on hind legs looking at my lap): MEOOOWWWWW!
Me: Juuuust a minute.
So there’s the third installment of the series and the good news is I still have more quotes! You’ll just have to wait until 2028 to read them.