The Pole-Licker


There’s this kid at Anthony’s school whose behavior pretty much defies all that encompasses what one could consider normal, even for a kid. But before I get on that, here’s a synopsis.

For starters, all of his school equipment—clothes, backpack, etc.—are all too big for him. It’s almost as if his parents decided to buy larger stuff so that it will last him until he reaches high school even though he’s only in the first grade. The backpack is riddled with all sorts of trinkets that rattle and shake as he makes his daily run across the kindergarten yard to the first grade yard. All the while, he’s singing or babbling incoherently in the hopes that somebody will listen.

Then there’s the jacket, about three sizes to large. So large is it that I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen the kid’s hands; the sleeves hang over them about four inches, making him look like he’s got broken wrists or something. But now that I think of it, he looks a lot like Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba! when he flails those arms all over the place.

And did I mention he wears glasses and, at the same awards ceremony that Anthony attended a few months ago, he won an award in—wait for it—math?

Put all of those things together and you have one odd little bird. You know, like that kid in A Christmas Story that was talking about The Wizard of Oz to Ralphie? Yeah, he’s kind of like that. But wait, there’s more!

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