Releasing My Inner Rock Star

On Friday night, I did something for the first time: karaoke.

Me and a coworker I will call Lola (her Facebook pseudonym) had planned this night at least a month ago and invited a handful of fellow office drones to come along for the ride. We figured it would be a great time and a way to let loose and BS about the garbage we deal with in the office.

In the end, what was supposed to be a group of us turned out to be only myself, Lola, her boyfriend, a former coworker and his girlfriend. Ah, of mice and men…

But despite their absence, the plans went through and we all had a good time. It’s also worth noting that Ann and Anthony came because Ann’s mom, who was supposed to watch him that night, had fallen ill in the days prior to the event. Stupid mice and men. And because karaoke takes place in the bar of the bowling alley, he was not allowed in. Instead, they spent their time doing some bowling while I made a fool of myself on stage.

The bowling alley, Linbrook Bowl in Anaheim, is one of the rare places that has nightly karaoke which starts at 8:30 pm in the Kopa Room. I had read some online reviews about the place just to get an idea of what I was getting myself into and they were mixed. Some complained that the KJ (karaoke jockey) played favorites to the regulars and there were a few other not-so-nice reviews about the place overall.

I found that not to be the case once the ball got rolling. In short, we had a blast in the few hours we were there (it could have been longer if we didn’t have Anthony with us). About the only thing I could complain about was the song selection. In the week leading up to Karaoke Night, I had compiled a list of songs that I wanted to give a shot and much to my chagrin, many of them were not available. Not only that, here was there entire Depeche Mode song collection:

As you can see in the dead center of that list, there were only four Depeche Mode songs and probably none of them I would ever want to karaoke. Come on, those are really bad choices!

I had been looking through the book with Lola and her boyfriend before the KJ arrived to get the party started and noticed that a good portion of the songs on my list were not in the book. Fortunately, some of my preferred songs were so once the KJ put out the sign-up sheet, I was about third in line with my first choice.

I had originally planned to kick it off with Eve 6’s “Inside Out” just because I’ve always liked the song and let’s face it, it sounds like a karaoke song. Or not. Maybe it was because I had heard a cover band in a Las Vegas casino doing it years ago and I liked the energy of it live, or maybe it was just within my vocal range. Either way, it wasn’t in the book so I had to opt for another opener: Billy Joel’s “You May Be Right.”

After the first two singers did their thing, I was called up to the stage to give my first song a go and boy, did I screw it up! Maybe it was the anxiousness of being on the stage and singing in public for the first time that made do it but one the song started, I sort of started singing along right away instead of waiting a few measures and following the words as they were highlighted. Rookie mistake. I honestly didn’t need to look at the screen for the lyrics because I’ve known that song since I was a kid which could have led to my know-it-all demeanor when it started. But once I recovered from my flub, it was smooth sailing with my group cheering me on.

Then a few other singers went up and flexed their vocal prowess (or lack thereof). That’s when it occurred to me that I may not be the best singer but holy crap in a pita, I’m one hell of a lot better than some.

Except for the girlfriend of former coworker Derek. She has won karaoke contests in the past and belted out Alicia Keys’ “No One” perfectly, leaving us speechless. It was incredible.

The second song on my list was “Roadhouse Blues” by The Doors. This was chosen more for its vocal range being in the same area as mine than being a good live song. I figured that it would be a good karaoke choice as well.

The only thing about it was that it was a severely edited version of the song, leaving out a full set of lyrics:

Ashen lady, Ashen lady
Give up your vows, give up your vows
Save our city, save our city
Right now

This totally threw me off because it was replaced by the first part of the song, making it extremely repetitive. A bit disappointing. But don’t take my word for it. Watch the video!

So yes, as you may have heard, it sounds like the same thing over and over. Not cool. But hey, I did include “Do it, Robbie, do it!” and looked over at the KJ playing an inflatable guitar when I did.

Then, after publicly embarrassing myself with that tune, I put my name on the list for a third song: “Back in the U.S.S.R.” by The Beatles. And yes, there is a video of that, too!

This seemed to work out better all the way around. By the way, that’s Lola singing along and giving me some encouragement as well. That’s how she rolls.

And yes, there were singers worse than me.

Overall, it was a great night to hang out and have some fun. Here’s the takeaway:

• I sing with my eyes closed if I know the lyrics. It’s not that I didn’t want to make eye contact with the crowd; it’s just something that felt natural.
• If you ever do karaoke, let it out! The mic can handle your voice at a high volume level better than struggling to hear you at a low level. Trust me, I was singing pretty loudly in those clips and there was no distortion. Singing comes from the gut, not throat.
• Holding the mic with two hands while on the stand also seemed appropriate for the songs I did.
• Tip the KJ. I left without doing so and felt pretty bad since he was a cool guy who chatted with us a few times while others were singing.
• This was only the second time in my life that I had set foot in a bar. I kid you not.
• I have no shame. What you see was fueled purely on adrenaline and my own self-satisfaction. Since I don’t drink, the only thing I had was a raspberry Smirnoff Ice and those things are just a step above a soda. I assure you that you don’t need to be inebriated to do karaoke; just confident.
• Dropbox is great! It seems off-topic but it really isn’t. In order to get these videos to me, Lola uploaded them to her Dropbox account and shared the folder with me, giving me the opportunity to share them with you here. Before Dropbox (or the cloud-storage service of your choice), they would have had to be emailed – if your server could even handle such huge files. Now it’s a breeze.
• By the way, that shirt really makes me look big. I assure you I haven’t gained back a ton of weight; it’s an XL shirt that Ann bought me for the night. And the stripes don’t really help either I suppose.

So it turns out that my first Karaoke Night was more fun than I could have ever imagined. Will there be another? I can practically guarantee it, and this time I’m looking to do some ‘80s tunes since Friday seemed to be Classic Rock Night.

And I’m sure there will be video evidence as well.

Rock on, peeps!