Romantic Comedies


Holy mother of effs, I’m getting old(er).

The family — I refuse to use the currently popular and obnoxious term “fam” — was out decorating for Christmas Saturday night, mostly concentrating on the positioning of our new laser light display.

We’ve been looking at them for some time now and found them on sale at OSH so we caved. And for $20 I have to admit they are pretty spectacular.

The colors, man! The colors! Plus we’re feeling exceptionally lazy this year so we’re only putting this up with a few strings of lights. Humbug!

While all of this was going on, our beloved neighbor* was in his frontyard listening to some music through his Bluetooth speaker. I didn’t really notice it until Ann said something.

Ann: The jackass** is listening to that Sam Smith chick-flick crap that you’d hear in those romcoms.

A beat. I heard what she said loud and clear, but I wasn’t sure exactly what she meant by the last word.

Me: What?

Ann: He’s listening to crap you’d hear in a romcom.

There it was again.

Me: (looking bewildered) Uh, say that again?

Ann: What, romcom?

At this point, if this were a phone conversation using a wired GTE Phone Mart landline, I would have tapped it several times on the nearest hard object to make sure I was hearing things correctly then continued.

Me: Yes.

Ann: A romcom? Romantic comedy?

Me: Is that what it means?

Ann: Yeah, I heard it on the radio the morning.

Keep in mind I don’t listen to morning radio — I’m a Spotify guy and hate blithering morning jocks trying to elicit a laugh at any cost. I’m not entirely surprised they’d use such a stupid term.

Me: Oh okay. Well, don’t ever say that around me again.

Ann: What, romcom?

Me: (shuddering) Yes.

Deal.

Here we are taking a break from the decorating in Season 24 of our own little romc…uh, romantic comedy. Hats off to the kid, now taller than Ann and almost eye level with me, for taking this picture.

You all decorated yet?

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Footnotes:

*Sarcasm **Absolute truth

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Composed on an iPhone 7 Plus app using the WordPress app because I’m feeling exceptionally lazy tonight.

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Space Shuttle Endeavour in Inglewood


It was about three weeks ago when I wrote a post about the Space Shuttle Endeavour’s tour of southern California and until yesterday, it was stationed at LAX where it was waiting to be removed from the transport jet and onto another vehicle for its final destination: the California Science Center.

For its ground travel, locals were discouraged from gathering to see the shuttle because it needed plenty of room to travel. We were lead to believe that it wasn’t going to be a parade; this was serious business.

But the pictures on the local news pretty much told the story: nobody was going to let this historic moment pass them by and I was one of them. Once I saw it was in Inglewood this morning I rushed the family out the door, stopped for some donuts, and headed out to see what we could see.

And the following shows just that. Enjoy!

Space Shuttle 008

Space Shuttle 009

Space Shuttle 010

Space Shuttle 014

Space Shuttle 015

Space Shuttle 020

Space Shuttle 021

Space Shuttle 030

Space Shuttle 022

Space Shuttle 033

Space Shuttle 036

Space Shuttle 035

Space Shuttle 038

So far I’ve seen it in the air and on the ground, and the family is looking forward to see it on display at the end of the month. It’s been an amazing trip and a lot of fun to watch.

Jordan Knight’s Birthday


First of all, this post is the first to fall under the new “Life with Dave” category, formerly “Dialogue.” It will cover conversations between myself and the family. It gives you an idea of what it’s like to live with me – and what Ann has dealt with for 19 years. I will go back and tag the previous conversations I can remember blogging about within the same category.

There is a chapter in Cameron Crowe’s classic piece of American literature Fast Times and Ridgemont High* called “Ritchie Blackmore’s Birthday.” In it, Mike Damone takes every April 14th to celebrate the birth of his favorite guitarist by listening to nothing but songs that showcase his guitar work  all day. When his mom asks him if he would rather go and hang out with his friends because she and her husband can’t stand the music, Damone simply replies, “Nope. Suffer.”

Mike Damone loved his Ritchie Blackmore and probably still does (since the book was based on a true story).

I can’t say the same thing for and Ann her love for New Kids on the Block. She was a fan back in the day but not so much now that she’s in her 30s.

This was evident when KTLA’s Morning News was going into a commercial break and showing NKOTB’s “Step By Step” video. The lower third read “Happy Birthday, Jordan Knight!”

Ann, checking her email and not knowing the reason why the song was being played, voiced her displeasure.

Ann: Oh Lord, why are they playing that?

Me: It’s Jordan Knight’s birthday!**

Ann: So what? They haven’t been a group or even together in over 20 years!***

Me: How can you say that? They said they’d be loving YOU forever!

Ann: (shrugs) Whatever. Not me.

Sorry, JK

So anyway, Happy Birthday to Jordan Knight, you older kid on the block you.

I think.

Maybe.

Eh, whatever.

*SPOILER ALERT! As is the case most of the time, the book is NOTHING like the movie. I thought it was better and could have used more scenes from it.

**A fact I wouldn’t have known if not shown on the lower third.

***Obviously unaware of their recent tours.

The East Coast Family


Yet another dialog with Ann in which she plays a guessing game with me.

She started off by telling me she was watching Family Matters today – for whatever reason, I don’t know. I guess The Snorks weren’t on just yet.

Ann: Hey, guess who was the musical guest on Family Matters today?

Me: Boyz II Men?

Ann: No…

Me: ABC?

(Growing agitated)

Ann: No!

Me: BBD?

(Raises voice)

Ann: NO!

Yes, this is what it’s like to live with me. And poor Ann has dealt with it for 18 years.

In case it wasn’t painfully obvious, that was a reference Boyz II Men’s “Motownphilly” and yes, I was wrong on all three guesses. Turns out it was All 4 One, yet another popular R&B harmony group from back in the ‘90s. Hey, at least I didn’t say it was these doofy honkies:

I could keep this list going and going all night long but for now, I really must move to the jacuzzi…ooh, that booty…smack it, flip it, rub it down, OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!

By the way, this is Post #900 on ye olde blog! Go me!

Planking


Just to show you how full of garbage today’s news media can really be, our local news was showing a segment on the Internet phenomenon known as planking. Naturally, Anthony questioned it.

Anthony: Daddy, what are those people doing?

Me: Oh, some stupid crap that makes them look like a bunch of jackasses.

Anthony (thinks): Well…they sure do.

And there you have it, folks. If a 7-year-old kid can look at a picture and make an assessment that you look stupid by doing nothing but lying face down on the ground, for the sake of humanity you should probably consider doing something a little more constructive with your time.

Like, you know, blogging or something… 🙂