I’m Suing Microsoft and Harmonix

hqdefault Way back in March 2008, I wrote an April Fool’s entry about potential Rock Band add-ons. In case you need to have your mind refreshed (or didn’t even know about it in the first place), here’s the link.

Thinking it was just a lame blog entry that would get absolutely no attention, I just let it simmer and wrote a follow-up the next day explaining how bad I thought it was. Turns out that years later, that post is still one of my blog’s most popular entries:

One year later, Microsoft launched their idea of an April Fool’s joke: Alpine Legend, a game which shows gamers playing yodeling and dancing around like fools:

It would have been really funny—if I hadn’t written about it first in 2008:

Harmonix also plans polka yodeling, allowing previously reluctant individuals languishing for oddball octaves lively, spirited dancing all year-round.

Huh. Imagine that. The mind boggles.

Then comes news that Rock Band 3 will be purportedly gaining a keytar, as reported in this Endadget article and teased in the Green Day: Rock Band demo:

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Let’s go back to that April Fool’s entry, shall we?

Rock Band’s mature fans will appreciate the Rock Band Wireless Keytar, an exciting addition that will introduce the synth-pop and electronic genres to the game, with music from bands such as Depeche Mode and Devo planned for downloadable content.

Either I’m the Nostradamus of video games or somebody’s been reading that blog post and getting ideas.

So what do you think this’ll get me? A couple of million? A toaster and a few broken baseball bats and a ticket to a minor league game?

I think it’s time to get Larry H. Parker on the horn–no foolin’.

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Speaking of April Fool’s Day…

Last year’s April Fool’s Day post had to do with add-ons for Harmonix’s Rock Band game. One sentence in particular stands out for a few reasons:

Harmonix also plans polka yodeling, allowing previously reluctant individuals languishing for oddball octaves lively, spirited dancing all year-round.

It’s significant for a few reasons. First, take the first letter of each word of that sentence and you get a cryptic message. Second, check out the video below that I found today while scrolling through my Google Reader:

Hmmm…


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Harmonix Announces Rock Band Add-Ons

Harmonix, makers of the rockingly successful interactive Rock Band game, has announced plans to expand its lineup of instruments, an inside source has revealed.

Speaking under condition of anonymity, they spilled the proverbial beans on several new additions to what Harmonix has referred to as their “franchise” game.

The Rock Band Flute will make players yearn for living in the past as songs from Jethro Tull are planned as downloads. Also packed with the Rock Band Flute will be a pair of kneepads—but boots are optional.

Rock Band’s Steel Drum add-on is sure to make a big splash as well, with the Star Wars hit “Cantina Band” and many Calypso favorites planned for add-on content.

As if that weren’t enough, the Rock Band Concertina will appeal to the oom-pah crowd. This will only lead to speculation that complementary “brasstic” instruments–simulated brass instruments but in plastic form–are on the horizon.

Rock Band’s mature fans will appreciate the Rock Band Wireless Keytar, an exciting addition that will introduce the synth-pop and electronic genres to the game, with music from bands such as Depeche Mode and Devo planned for downloadable content.

“The possibilities are virtually endless,” said the source.

Harmonix also plans polka yodeling, allowing previously reluctant individuals languishing for oddball octaves lively, spirited dancing all year-round.

More details and pictures as they come. Stay tuned.

(UPDATE: Please read the follow-up. Thanks!)

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