Only It’s Not Coffee

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That's Good Drinkin'!

That mug you see is not filled with coffee as the quote from The Big Lebowski might imply. In fact I’m not sure it was ever used for coffee since my drink of choice at my last job was green tea with jasmine, one packet of artificial sweetener and a squeeze of honey added to kill any semblance of tea (and dignity) it might have had.

And I really wouldn’t consider any coffee I concoct to still be coffee for the same reason as the tea: the additives, only twice as many.

In either case, the current contents of the mug are not meant to give me pleasure but instead provide relief. It is filled with warm TheraFlu Nighttime Formula as I have been fighting off a cold for the last few days with today being the worst yet. While I was able to completely clean then den and then go to work yesterday, the only thing I did today was go grocery shopping at WinCo in the morning and it wiped me out. After lunch, I donned my pajamas and robe and have been roaming the house in sickly comfort. The family, as a result, has been avoiding me and I can’t really blame them.

Being sick sucks. I want to run, go for a 20-mile bike ride, anything to break a sweat. Instead I sit and do nothing. Blah.

So I just thought I’d post since they are so infrequent. My Facebook Vacation also continues but there’s more to it. It’s just not working for me with any browser and I can’t upload pictures from my devices via WiFi. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t really miss it either. It’s an incredible time-waster.

I think that TheraFlu is starting to kick in. Goodnight.

Composed on my Samsung Galaxy Tab 3 with the WordPress app

Blogging 365, Day 27: Still Sick

I swear if my Health Meter was comprised of 10 little 8-bit hearts, I think I’d be on 3.5.

Yesterday I had tremendous sinus pressure above my right eye and tonight it’s my left. The pain is so bad it feels like watering.

What I’m saying is that this is about all I can handle for tonight’s entry. But at least I’m sticking to it.

Posted from my third-gen iPod touch because my phone is being arguing charged and I’m still too lazy to get the laptop. (Edited since I apparently was out of my element when I wrote this post.)

Blogging 365, Day 17: Shock and Awe

Man oh man, you don’t want to know what kind of day I had yesterday.

But I’m going to tell you anyway.

Ann and I went to bed Tuesday feeling 100% normal after a rather uneventful day. But all that changed at about 2 am Wednesday.

That’s when my stomach started to make some retching noises and I thought it was maybe because I didn’t eat much for dinner. But I was soon to find out that I was sooo wrong.

Within a few minutes after, the sound had turned to a nauseous feeling which then turned into…yeah, you can guess. For the next 2 hours Ann and I were jockeying for position in the bathroom and it was by no means pretty. About the only words I can use to describe what we went through were:

  • Sudden. This thing hit us from out of nowhere and did a number on both of us faster than anything we’d ever experienced. My stomach’s been sick to this degree before but normally it takes some time before it really hits you. Not this time, boy-o.
  • Violent. And that’s being kind. I can’t remember heaving this much and for so long in years if ever. It was so bad that my core is still sore, almost like I did a serious workout. It really was like a tornado ripping through my insides.

The good thing is that we’re pretty much over it, well enough to go back to work today and put in a full shift. (I attribute this to my active lifestyle for sure.) I’m at about 85% normal while Ann is still suffering a bit more but definitely looking better than yesterday. We should be all better by tomorrow.

I still don’t have much of an appetite and as a result have dropped almost 4 pounds over the last two days, and may have taken in 1,000 calories during that entire time. But I’ve been downing lots of water, ginger ale and Gatorade just to replace my fluids.

They were saying that this flu season was going to be a bad one and brother, they weren’t kidding. Just be prepared should you start to get the strange little feeling in your belly.

Blogging 365, Day 16: Thanks A Lot, Kids

I’m going to make this quick seeing as I don’t have a lot of time.

I just want to extend a hearty thank-you to the kids we watched on Monday. Thanks so much for barfing and defecating everywhere and for sharing your flu germs with us. Ann and I have been playing Musical Chairs in the bathroom since 2 am and not only were we not paid for watching you, we now have to miss (at least) a day of work while we recover.

A special shout-out to the parents who were completely oblivious to their collective illness.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go – literally.

Blogging 365, Day 14: OMG! WTF?

polls_cat_i_barf_3437_384303_answer_3_xlargeWow. I can’t even begin to tell you what a horrific evening we had but I’m going to try anyhow.

Just before I left work, Ann sent me a text message telling me that she had agreed to watch Anthony’s friend and his three brothers while their parents attended some kind of function. The parents – we’ll call them Aragorn and Galadriel since I’m still reading my Lord of the Rings books – also promised to have pizza delivered to our home while they were out, returning to our place at about 10 pm.

(And since we’re using pseudonyms, the boys will be called Gandalf, Frodo, Bilbo and Merry.)

Ann took the time to clean the house up a bit for the company we were expecting. They arrived at about 5:30 and unloaded all of their goodies in the den, most of which were Xbox controllers, games, and Skylanders toys. Once they did that, we let them all go outside to play for a bit.

By 5:45, Merry’s foot had slipped off the pedal of the go-kart twice causing him to wail. By 6, Gandalf had shit his pants and had to put on a pair of Anthony’s pajamas. He, by the way, had already told Ann that he wasn’t feeling to good and we later found out from Aragorn that Galadriel was violently ill at about the same time Gandalf’s bowels gave way.

The kids continued to play outside until it got a bit too cold for their liking so we all went inside so they could play some Xbox. About 30 minutes later I hear Frodo say that he wasn’t feeling good and by the time I could direct him to the bathroom, there was a trail of vomit from the hallway leading in to the bathroom – and all over the toilet. I handed him some paper towel and asked if he could clean it up which in his eyes meant just covering it. I eventually had to do it.

As time went on, the kids started to get hungry. About the only thing we had in plentiful supply were packages of fruit snacks that we got on clearance so we asked who was interested in having some. (Remember, we’re used to feeding one kid not four.) They all wanted them so that’s what they got but they were still hungry, especially little Bilbo. The parents had promised pizza but it had yet to materialize so they were all getting cranky.

Bilbo continued to cry that he was hungry which, of course, led to him feeling “like I have to barf.” And as you could imagine, he did just that on the kitchen floor. About 15 minutes later I hear someone in the den say, “Frodo is barfing again.”

spaceballs john candy barfBy now, we’re completely out of paper towels and our collective patience is running thin. With barf flying around this house like a city park sprinkler shooting out a steady stream of water, we had no choice but to use our spare bath towels. As far as preventing cleaning up any further messes, all I could do was run into the bathroom and tell them all that if they were feeling sick and they couldn’t make it to the bathroom to use the trash can. Bilbo was the only one who made use of it.

I made my way into the den and once again, picked up after Frodo as he apologized. But despite my outward nonchalant attitude toward it all, deep down inside I was thinking, “Don’t apologize. Here’s a towel. Use it.” I also vacuumed up what I couldn’t get by hand.

All the time we’re calling Aragorn and giving him the play-by-play and getting his ETA. Between Galadriel and the kids, he had no choice but to turn around and put the kibosh on their evening plans. Our house was in total chaos between kids whining about being hungry and spewing.

We get an ETA from Aragorn who said he would pick up some food for myself, Ann and Anthony since he didn’t want his kids anywhere near food for the rest of the evening. At this point I didn’t really care what he did or didn’t bring; I just wanted my house back in order.

Before he arrived, as you might have guessed, we had another barf incident. This time it was Gandalf who, as mentioned earlier, was a ticking time bomb to begin with. Fortunately, he had the presence of mind to go outside and do it on the yard. I guess that’s better. I don’t know. You tell me.

By the time Aragorn arrived, we had three green kids slumped over sick. The only one who didn’t barf or complain about being hungry was Merry. As for the rest…UGH.

Aragorn apologized profusely for what had happened as he handed us a boxful of In-N-Out burgers that he had picked up along the way. Once he wrangled up the Company and strapped them in the car, Ann handed him a bag and told him, “Just in case.”

It didn’t matter. By then, Frodo had rolled down the window and blew some final chunks all over our driveway.

scream-16_6155The burgers were a fine gesture no doubt and to be quite honest, after the evening we just had, we didn’t feel like eating much but we did just that. I even ate some of the fries which anybody who knows me will tell you is out of character since I despise In-N-Out fries. I even drank a strawberry shake, not even caring about the fat or calories that any of the items contained or the fact that I am lactose intolerant. At this point all of it was comfort food for quite possibly one of the worst evenings of my adult life.

The house still smells of barf despite my burning several sticks of incense. We’ve taken showers, cleaned and sprayed down just about everything those kids touched and I don’t think Bath & Body Works is capable of producing the amount of antibacterial gel I would feel comfortable with at this moment, even if they worked overtime for several shifts.

Holy shit. What a night. All I want to do is go to bed and forget it ever happened – and be thankful Anthony’s an only child.