2009/07/07
2009/07/02
Bookmobile Arrives
Posted by Dave under Books, LG enV VX9900, Phone-Cam | Tags: bess the book bus, book drive, Books, mo willems |[4] Comments
My company is one of the sponsors for Bess the Book Bus, a small organization that promotes literacy by seeking book donations for underprivileged children. For about the past month, we’ve been collecting books for the kiddies while Bess made her circuitous path from Florida to her final destination, sunny southern California. Our incentive to donate: those that gave at least 10 books received a yellow SuperGuarantee cape, suitable for…something, most likely office bragging rights by hanging outside your cubicle (if you are lucky enough to have one).
I had told The Kid the last time we cleaned his room that if there were any books he didn’t want to let me know so that I could give them to the kids that couldn’t afford any. The Kid came through with a bagful of books, and I’m proud of him for being so willing to donate them.
Well, today Bess finally arrived at work to collect the books. Here are a few phone-cam shots:
That last picture is what really got me laughing. You see, there’s this series of books by Mo Willems that center around a pigeon and his adventures that include wanting a puppy, finding a hot dog and as seen here, driving a bus. The books are genuinely funny in that the pigeon does everything he can to convince (the child) reader to let him get his way, a funny way of giving kids a taste of their own medicine.
At any rate, The Kid loves the books and I thought he would get a kick out seeing the pigeon finally “driving” the bus. Oh boy, did he ever.
It was great to see Bess finally arrive at work gather the books up, knowing that they will end up in the hands of children that most definitely need them more than we did. And yes, in case you’re wondering, I earned my cape with what The Kid had generously donated for the cause.
And no, I’m not wearing it when I start riding my bike to work again
2009/07/01
Yeah, yeah, so you got a break from me for about a week. For what it’s worth, I had what I believed to be a mild case of pinkeye and what I thought was a sinus infection (complete with headache), which turned out to be a cold of some kind.
That, or this weather is just totally farking with me. I didn’t even ride my bike to work once this week so that gives you an indication of what I really felt like. The good thing (if this can be considered good): I lost a few pounds.
At any rate, I had a few ideas brewing and I will exercise my right to post at least one tonight. And it would have been really smart of me to jot those ideas down on my iPod so I could remember them but instead, I have to rely on my ever-fading 40-year-old memory to try and recall those fantastic ideas I had. What a freaking moron.
Stay tuned…
2009/06/26
2009/06/25
The Thriller is Gone
Posted by Dave under Entertainment, Music, Requiem in Pace | Tags: michael jackson, Music |[4] Comments
There are very few times in history that you’ll remember so vividly. This is one of them.
Anybody that says they’ve never grooved to one of Michael Jackson’s songs or that they weren’t moved by him in some way or another is a freaking liar. Admit it, tough guy: you know several dance moves from one of his videos, probably Thriller or Captain EO. You may have even done them at a wedding or when really, really drunk.
Either way, his music knew no race, no boundaries, no anything. And that’s what music should truly be: universal.
It’s still rather difficult to believe, but the legend we knew as Michael Jackson is gone, and so is a huge part of my younger years. It’s hard not to listen to his music and be taken back to my teenage years when those “Michael Jackson jackets” were en vogue, along with parachute pants (neither of which I ever owned, although I did have a fake Member’s Only jacket). My brother was working at KIIS FM at the time Thriller dropped and man, it was just madness. MJ was in heavy rotation but because the album was so chock full o’ hits, you never heard the same one twice in an hour. Highly unusual with pop artists these days, and a feat the I think will never happen again.
Then you have the dance moves. There was and will be no equal. You can try to simulate them but even the best dancer’s version couldn’t hold a candle to the master himself. They were almost to the point of being physically impossible, but he made them look easy.
His music is his legacy and we can be thankful we were around to experience it firsthand. Go ahead and say what you want, but there will never be another performer like him–ever.
2009/06/23
When I was still manatee-esque, I tried to unsuccessfully for years to grow a goatee. No matter what I did, the thing just never took off but then again, my face was still round and rather fat. In fact I could go at least two to three days without shaving and you’d never notice much a difference.
Some 100 lbs. later, I’m having to shave daily. This got me thinking: Now that I’m a lot thinner and trying to change my self-image a bit, was it now finally time to try and grow the goatee?
I gave it some thought and, with a little urging by Ann, gave in and started to let the facial hair grow out around my mouth. For comparison purposes, here I am before the goatee:
And here is how I appear now (or at least a few weeks ago):
Is it making much of a difference? Am I not quite as dorky as I used to be without it? Ann says she likes my new look and I’ll be honest, I think I do, too. I did, however, have my reservations about it at first because for the most part, goatees seem to be worn by fat dudes trying to look cool and dickheads with tribal tattoos, but once in a while some facial hair works wonders and makes a dude look pretty bad-ass. I mean, what it did for Dave Grohl:
Facial hair or not, Grohl’s bad-ass in his own right. Unfortunately, I (or my goatee or a tattoo or earring or piercing or any other body modification) won’t ever make me as cool as he. Le sigh…
With all of that goatee madness out of the way, I gotta add this. What in the hell did Disneyland do to beef up their fireworks show? Jesus Tapdancing Christ, my windows rattle when the first ones go off at about 9:30 pm. And while I consider myself conveniently located to the place, I’m still pretty far away. Check out the [Google Earth] map below and you’ll see what I mean:
So as you can see, The Magic Kingdom isn’t exactly next door to me, but those damn fireworks are motherfarking loud even at that distance.
That’s all I got for tonight. We’re working overtime all week and possibly on Saturday so I gotta get my lazy ass to bed early each night. Not that the current time of 11 pm is early or anything…
2009/06/17
I’ve gotten into the habit of walking during my lunch lately because, let’s face it, The People’s Court hasn’t been the same since Judge Wapner and Rusty left. That’s what I’d usually watch that after consuming my lunch but this week I’ve gotten fitness on the brain and can’t seem to sit still during lunch, so I had to do something about it.
Through the magic of Google Earth I was able to determine that three laps around the parking lot equals a little over one mile. That’s not one hell of a lot when compared to what I used to do at my last job but when you combine that with my daily bike ride to work, it definitely helps.
At any rate, I was coming around the bend on my last lap when I saw my buddy Barney Rubble enter the parking lot in his Hyundai Crapmobile. (Note: Barney’s seen me drive to work in the Escape, the Lincoln, and obviously knows about the bike.) He turned well in front of me and eventually found a space as close to the building as he could possibly get. You know, since that lot is so full and so big…
As he exited his Korean beer can, he saw me approaching. I noticed he had a bag in his hand and he was heading over to the trash to throw it away. Barney spoke up.
“You ride your bike to work and go for a walk during lunch?” he said incredulously. While the fork-tongued lil’ demon inside of me wanted to unleash some very naughty words to my most favoritest person at work, I held my composure as I strolled by.
“Yep, because nobody is going to do it for me,” I said with a smile, like a Cheshire cat that just swallowed a huge mouse–or like Garfield after a plate of lasagna.
“I guess not,” said Barney as he chucked his crumpled-up McDonald’s bag into the dumpster and rolled his globular body past me.
Two cars, one bike, not a lazy motherfarker like he is.
Check and mate, Barney. Check-and-effing-mate.
—
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2009/07/07
You’re Adds Suck
Posted by Dave under Commentary/Opinion, Grammar Police, Humor[4] Comments
So I decided to do the next best thing and post only the text of some of my faves, seen below. My comments, if any, are in italics following each and keep in mind that these ads have already run this way and in most cases, there were no indications to make corrections to these painfully obvious mistakes. And thanks again to Kimberly for inspiring this post!
Quick, Eagle Eye Cherry! Spot the errors!
Then there are the written directions from our sales reps, which are usually good for some laughs. The following are examples of actual written directions from a sales reps, but that shouldn’t surprise anybody that’s ever dealt with one:
Yeah. Yup, that’s what I deal with.
On the health front, I have been refraining from riding my bike to work until I get better. I’m still coughing like a smoker at times and want to make sure I have enough air in my lungs before I ride my 8 miles a day, because dying on the way to work would really, really suck.
That’s all I gots for the night. And again, I still have a few post ideas but I’m waiting until I’m better and can stay up longer. For now, I need my rest. See ya!