Track Time

Today was Anthony’s 12th birthday and despite Mom and Dad asking him repeatedly for weeks what he might want as a gift, his reply was a consistent “I don’t know!” (He really wanted a camera but I’m still pricing them — and he’s not getting one better than mine.)

I had some suggestions for places to go and things to eat, all of which were met with opposition or just not logistically feasible for our back-up plans. I even threw out the idea of going to the local go-kart track to see if he would bite.

He was skeptical. But Ann, tired of his indecisiveness, made up his mind while he was taking a shower: we were going go-karting and he was going to like it. After all, I took the day off from work to spend it with him.

Go Kart World sits off the 405 in Carson and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was no longer in business or even abandoned by its owners who were suddenly in the midst of some kind of legal trouble. You’d think that — until you see the number of celebrities who have spent the day there: Cindy Crawford, Quentin Tarantino and yes, even David Beckham. The last one makes sense since he played for the L.A. Galaxy whose home is just a few blocks away. The arcade walls are covered with even more celebrity pictures than what’s on their website.

I guess if you want to have some fun on the down-low, this is the place to be.

Anyway, there are a ton of options for racing from a single ticket to an all-day pass. We opted for the all-day pass since it didn’t make any sense to spend $30 for two hours when the day pass was $37.50. It also gives you in-and-out privileges if you decide to go for a bite to eat and come back (which is what we did).

There are five tracks to choose from but really, for bigger kids and adults, there’s only three to be concerned with. And even then, you could break it down to just two since the Turbo Track isn’t all that exciting and very narrow which doesn’t allow for passing. Fun, but the competitive spirit is all but extinguished.

Anthony and I found ourselves on the Slick Track first. It’s nothing more than an oval with slippery curves that are perfect for drifting. Having played my share of driving video games in the past, I had this track figured out by my second go-around.

And while helmets are not necessary when driving, we brought ours anyway so that we could record some GoPro footage to share with everybody. Here’s our first time on the Slick Track. If you’re a fan of the old Daytona USA arcade game then you’ll dig the background music.

You might have noticed I had two GoPro mounts on my helmet. You’re right. That’s because I didn’t want to keep one in my pocket in such a cramped little car — more on that later — or keep removing it. I figured I might as well leave it and just switch positions as I needed to.

Also, at about 3:00 you’ll see Car #10 enter from the left side. The guy was a real bag of dicks and kept bumping Anthony on this track and the larger Super Track. His kids were also a couple of ill-mannered dillweeds who did the same thing but my boy got even with them by pushing them into the wall on the Super Track. As for the dad, I bumped him a few times at about 3:12 just to distance him from Anthony. This kind of stuff isn’t encouraged since it’s a family amusement center but hey, if dude’s going to be an asshole and take out my kid, I’m going Tony Stewart on his ass.

With that out of the way, we headed over to the Super Track which, as its name implies, is  the largest track at the facility. Here’s how that went (with music from Daytona USA once again).

Anthony and I mix it up a little at about 1:30 of this video and he later bumps me toward the Start line (you can hear me laughing about it later). As for that stupid yellow car in front of me? There was just no getting past them no matter how hard I tried. I wish I had a banana peel or turtle shell convenient.

So while the overall experience is indeed fun, especially for a first-timer, there’s plenty of other little things that I didn’t prepare for.

The stench/emissions produced by those tiny little lawnmower engines that power the go-karts can nearly gag you, especially when you’re directed to use a car under the overpass where it kind of collects. I had to throw the faceshield down on my helmet a few times as I was waiting just to cut back on the cloud of black smoke that was enveloping me.

At 5’10” and 200-something pounds, the size of the cars leaves something to be desired. For me, they required contortionist entry and exit as well as adjusting the seat belt before sitting down since most drivers are kids and they use a smaller size. It’s pretty cramped inside and by the time we were done, my elbows were sore from having them rest against the inner wall of the cars. But while I don’t like small, confined spaces these didn’t bother me much — except for getting in and out, which was no small task. I felt like I had done some core workouts by the end of our visit.

The arcade is less than impressive with games that someone like me, who grew up in the ’80 arcade era, would never bother to play. There’s also a fair share of claw and skill games to choose from. The only money I spent in there was for a can of Hawaiian Punch: driving these things can make you thirsty real fast.

Even with those few little things, it’s safe to say that we both had a great time and are looking forward to returning for whatever special occasion happens to be next on our calendar or any other day that finds us struggling with ways to spend it.

But I’ll leave my banana peels at home no matter how badly I’ll want to bring them.