The Simpsons Quotes in Daily Life, Vol. 2


In keeping things current with my blog, I’m continuing my series of entries that I started in…uh, November 2017. Maybe I should really stick with that, huh?

Anyway, if you’re unfamiliar with the concept, this series of posts covers quotes from The Simpsons that have made their way into the daily lives of  La Familia Moreno. Pretty simple.

So here we go with Volume 2!

1. The Royal Sampler

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Situation: When Homer’s birthmark leads The Stonecutters to believe he is “the chosen one,” they do anything to appease him including rigging their poker game by telling him he as a Royal Sampler. In reality, it’s a hand of cards that wouldn’t win anything.

Family Usage: Quite a different connotation. We use it to describe a mish-mash of anything from groceries to food ordered at a restaurant.

Me (looking at groceries on the conveyor belt): Man. Cat litter, muffins, and ant spray. That’s quite the Royal Sampler.

2. That dog has a puffy tail! Here puff!

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Situation: Homer’s attention quickly shifts from his doppelganger, Guy Incognito, who was just thrown out of Moe’s because Moe thought it was Homer in disguise.

Family Usage: We all use this one because we’re all guilty of being distracted during conversation and will blurt it immediately whenever any of us drifts off-course when explaining something. Works especially well with teenagers.

3. You just keep right on driving.

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Situation: When Homer sees an ad for a free tramampoline trampopoline trampoline, he picks it up and decides to open Homerland. Too many kids get hurt and he tries to return it to its original owner, Krusty, who pulls out a shotgun and says, “You just keep right on driving.”

Family Usage: Admittedly, I like second-hand stuff and I find a lot of it around the neighborhood. Some of it has turned out to be a really nice like my Craftsman-style lounge chair which we still have. But if something looks like total crap and I point it out to the family, they will throw this one right in my face.

Me: Wow, look at that old TV!

Ann (pointing at the road ahead): You just keep right on driving.

4. Mmmmmm, nah.

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Situation: In “Lisa the Skeptic,” when all of Springfield is waiting for sunset and the impending Judgment Day, Ned Flanders asks Reverend Lovejoy if they should sing some hymns while they wait for The Second Coming. His response: “Mmmmmm, nah.”

Family Usage: It’s a favorite and used whenever someone really wants to emphasize that we shouldn’t do something.

Ann: So should we clean up the backyard a little bit more today?

Me: Mmmmmm, nah.

Side note: Writers are known for basing characters on people they knew in real life. I would love to know if that’s the case with Reverend Lovejoy since some of his behaviors, like the one listed above, are so un-Christian to say the least.

“I never thought I’d have to do this again,” as he pours gasoline down the aisles of his church (key word: again).

“Damn Flanders!” after a call from Ned forces him to wreck his toy trains.

Giving Ned advice: “Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They’re all pretty much the same.”

On the Bible: “Have you ever read this thing? Technically, we’re not allowed to use the bathroom.”

“Oh mercy, he’s the real deal!” when speaking of The Leader of The Movementarians. He also throws his collar on the ground and stomps it.

I love Reverend Timothy Lovejoy.

5. Says you, woman.

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Situation: Bart’s reply to Marge when she says his back-talking sets a bad example.

Family Usage: My not-so-serious reply to Ann when she tells me something I’m hesitant about.

Ann: You know, that backyard really could use some cleaning up.

Me: Says you, woman!

(We’ll have been married 25 years in June. Don’t judge.)

That’s a wrap on this volume. Come back in, oh, six months for the next batch!

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The Simpsons Quotes in Daily Life, Vol. 1


I follow a few Facebook fan pages that are dedicated to The Simpsons and the other day, they were asking what everybody’s favorite quotes were.

It was then that I realized that not only were some of them my favorites but also used in the daily life of my family. (And believe it or not, Ann absolutely hated The Simpsons when I first met her.)

Granted I don’t watch many of the new episodes because the show seems to have lost its luster and goofy innocence over the years, and I’m a proud owner of Seasons 1-8 on DVD – the only seasons that matter in their entirety with a few episodes from Seasons 10-12 being just okay.

So it’s come to this: I’m compiling a list of quotes from the show that we seem to use on a daily basis or when the situation allows/is perfect for them. And for the next few days (or as more are added), I’ll be posting them here in an effort to keep me away from my iPad and sinking into Candy Crush Saga oblivion.

I actually bought more lives and power-ups the other day. Hey, it was a Black Friday sale and 86% off. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Ahem. Here are the first five quotes from the list which are in no particular order of preference.

1. Sweet merciful crap!

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Situation: Homer’s reaction to seeing his car decorated with assorted creatures from the sea. A fellow blogger has also taken a shine to this quote over the years.

Family Usage: Pretty much the same kind of situation or if, say, we wake up to a pile of shredded paper towels that a little black kitten we all know and love tore up while we were sleeping.

2. Uh-oh, something’s gonna die.

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Situation: John’s reaction when he sees Homer, dressed in hunting gear, arrive at Cockamamies to pick up Bart.

Family Usage: This one comes in handy whenever Anthony says he’s going to do something outlandish like attach his GoPro to something and shoot a video as he skateboards.

3. Remember, we’re in the Itchy lot.

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Situation: When the family arrives at Itchy and Scratchy Land, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong, Homer reminds them in which lot they parked. There’s only two and both are equally huge. Thank goodness for the signs.

Family Usage: On the rare occasion when we go to Disneyland, this quote will make itself known and it’s still funny because it’s true. By the way, they are adding even more parking in an effort to accommodate the upcoming Star Wars Land. Talk about too many people.

4. I can’t believe you don’t shut up!

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Situation: Apu’s interjection to Homer when he keeps giving him romance advice.

Family Usage: Too many: when one of the cats keeps caterwauling for no reason, whenever Donald Trump is on TV blathering about the NFL or some other piece of legislation he’s introducing that will get shot down, etc. This one comes in handy.

5. Like, you know, whatever.

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Situation: In an effort to leave the old Lisa Simpson behind and be accepted by the cool kids while at The Flandereses vacation home, Lisa tries to change her style and adopt new vernacular.

Family Usage: We tend to use this in more of a dismissive yet agreeable way.

Ann: Does spaghetti sound good for dinner?

Me: Like, you know, whatever.

And that’s the first five of who knows how many. I’ll keep adding them to my list in Evernote and posting them here. Stay tuned!

Blogging 365, Day 56: WWJD (What Would John Do)?


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Do you think John would have agreed to be on The Simpsons?

(By the way, this is Day 56 not 55 which I originally put in the header. Oops.)

Blogging 365, Day 7: Remembering Huell Howser


huell singsIt wasn’t a big enough story for me to get an SMS from my local news station’s breaking news alerts nor did it overshadow news of Kim Kardashian turning down a ridiculous amount of money for first dibs on her baby’s photos.

But that’s just how he would have wanted it.

Local public television personality Huell Howser, who delighted his viewers with his folksy Tennessean demeanor, boyish charm, and sense of wonderment at what some would consider the most mundane things, passed away Sunday at 67. He was the host of several public television shows that saw him visiting with people from all over the state of California, from as far south at the Mexican border and all the way up to the St. George Reef Lighthouse near Oregon.

While his passing has saddened many (myself included), it probably wasn’t a complete shock to some. It had been reported that Huell, a private man off-camera, was in ill health for some time which may have led to his sudden retirement on November 27, 2012 in which it was announced that he would cease production of his shows effective December 31, 2012. It’s also worth noting that he donated his desert home and video archive to Chapman University a year before.

I started watching his shows when I was a teenager because I fell for his simplistic approach to his shows: one camera and a microphone. That’s all it took for Huell to turn an ordinary trip into something “amazin'” as he would say. In a world filled with flashy intros and overproduction, Huell showed us that none of it is necessary in order for make great television.

What was great about them was the rapport he had with Joe Average, turning the camera on everyday citizens and finding something absolutely fascinating about what they were doing. Watch how he is enthralled by customers dining at Farmer Boys and Fosters Freeze. It’s just fantastic.

huell milkNo matter which show you watched, he opened up your eyes to parts of California you may have otherwise never known existed, and his down-to-earth persona appealed to viewers and those he was interviewing. You’d be hard-pressed to find anybody that had something bad to say about him, and his always joyful exclamations of “Oh my gawsh!” and “That’s amazin’!” only added to his charm.

Wherever he went, he made each and every excursion memorable and was always happy to bring us along. I can give a list of my favorite episodes but one in particular that I always remember was when he visited the See’s Candies factory. Not only did I learn that the white paint in side each and every location is actually a special blend called See’s White, but I also wanted to run out and buy a one-pound box of See’s Candies whenever I saw that episode. It was fantastic seeing Huell get so riled up at how candy – CANDY, people —was made.

How well-known and respected was Huell? Listen to this interview with his producer Phil Noyes and you tell me.

51762-sixHuell’s appeal went far beyond us common folk. Matt Groening is a huge fan of Huell Howser and not only parodied him in an episode of The Simpsons as Howell Huser but later had him portray himself in an episode in which Huell visited, of all places, a candy factory. It seems me and Groening share the same favorite episode, and I can’t think of a greater honor than to be a guest on that show.

In fact, here’s Homer Simpson congratulating Huell on 25 years at KCET.

Another one of my favorite episodes is this one in which he takes a former elephant trainer to visit his old friend. They say elephants never forget and that’s definitely the case here. (Note: have the Kleenex handy.)

And then there was the ubiquitous yet never-seen Louie, Huell’s cameraman on whom he always relied to get a shot a moment’s notice. Hearing him command “Hey Louie, get a shot of that!” and “Hey Louie, come on! Look at that!” was common and I often wondered if Louie ever got any sleep on their excursions.

He flew with the Blue Angels. He was on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. Huell got around.

Huell wrapped up each episode of California’s Gold with an instrumental of the state’s theme song, “California Here I Come.” To give you an idea of what an indelible mark he had on viewers, he was featured in a music video for Musician’s Institute in Los Angeles in which he sang the song about the state he so dearly loved. And I can’t think of a better way to end this post.

California’s gold has lost a lot of its luster in his passing, yet we are richer for having him take us along on his adventures. He brought a sense of pride to Californians and gave them a history lesson about some of their local businesses and landmarks.

Requiem in pace, Huell. You truly were a treasure and it’s hard for your fans to believe that you truly are gone. You were more than just a host of a television show, you were a friend to all of us.

May your next journey be paved in streets of gold.