The Simpsons Quotes in Daily Life, Vol. 1


I follow a few Facebook fan pages that are dedicated to The Simpsons and the other day, they were asking what everybody’s favorite quotes were.

It was then that I realized that not only were some of them my favorites but also used in the daily life of my family. (And believe it or not, Ann absolutely hated The Simpsons when I first met her.)

Granted I don’t watch many of the new episodes because the show seems to have lost its luster and goofy innocence over the years, and I’m a proud owner of Seasons 1-8 on DVD – the only seasons that matter in their entirety with a few episodes from Seasons 10-12 being just okay.

So it’s come to this: I’m compiling a list of quotes from the show that we seem to use on a daily basis or when the situation allows/is perfect for them. And for the next few days (or as more are added), I’ll be posting them here in an effort to keep me away from my iPad and sinking into Candy Crush Saga oblivion.

I actually bought more lives and power-ups the other day. Hey, it was a Black Friday sale and 86% off. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Ahem. Here are the first five quotes from the list which are in no particular order of preference.

1. Sweet merciful crap!

smc

Situation: Homer’s reaction to seeing his car decorated with assorted creatures from the sea. A fellow blogger has also taken a shine to this quote over the years.

Family Usage: Pretty much the same kind of situation or if, say, we wake up to a pile of shredded paper towels that a little black kitten we all know and love tore up while we were sleeping.

2. Uh-oh, something’s gonna die.

john

Situation: John’s reaction when he sees Homer, dressed in hunting gear, arrive at Cockamamies to pick up Bart.

Family Usage: This one comes in handy whenever Anthony says he’s going to do something outlandish like attach his GoPro to something and shoot a video as he skateboards.

3. Remember, we’re in the Itchy lot.

itchy

Situation: When the family arrives at Itchy and Scratchy Land, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong, Homer reminds them in which lot they parked. There’s only two and both are equally huge. Thank goodness for the signs.

Family Usage: On the rare occasion when we go to Disneyland, this quote will make itself known and it’s still funny because it’s true. By the way, they are adding even more parking in an effort to accommodate the upcoming Star Wars Land. Talk about too many people.

4. I can’t believe you don’t shut up!

shut up

Situation: Apu’s interjection to Homer when he keeps giving him romance advice.

Family Usage: Too many: when one of the cats keeps caterwauling for no reason, whenever Donald Trump is on TV blathering about the NFL or some other piece of legislation he’s introducing that will get shot down, etc. This one comes in handy.

5. Like, you know, whatever.

whatever

Situation: In an effort to leave the old Lisa Simpson behind and be accepted by the cool kids while at The Flandereses vacation home, Lisa tries to change her style and adopt new vernacular.

Family Usage: We tend to use this in more of a dismissive yet agreeable way.

Ann: Does spaghetti sound good for dinner?

Me: Like, you know, whatever.

And that’s the first five of who knows how many. I’ll keep adding them to my list in Evernote and posting them here. Stay tuned!

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Snopes It, People


I’ve been around this Interweb thing long enough to remember a seemingly endless line of chain emails.

“Bill Gates” and his “AOL Email Forwarding Tracking System” promised to give the winner — they would be chosen from a pool of those who forwarded the email — a cool $50k. Because he had nothing better to do than keep track of how emails were being forwarded (but I sent it anyway).

Of course back then, there really wasn’t a way to verify this kind of information. What about the promise of winning a Walt Disney World vacation for, yet again, forwarding an email? All we knew was that Walt Disney, Jr. wanted to send one of us to Florida and slap $5,000 in our hand for simply participating.

How would any of us know who won? When would we find out? Why wouldn’t we send that email to our closest 50 contacts, right?

Wait.

Walt Disney, Jr.? I knew for a fact — Google was still years away — that the elder Disney only had daughters. Not that I’m a Disney freak (because they really scare me) but it’s just something I had learned years prior.

That’s when my skepticism in these chain emails started, and when I stopped forwarding them.

Flash-forward to present day. It’s an election year and the mud has been slinging from every direction — candidates and voters. And to make it very clear, I’m not in full support of any of the candidates because they all have something very, very ugly lurking inside them.

Then there’s Donald Trump who lets his ugliness show because he’s sans filter. Out of all of the candidates, he’s the one I despise the most because he’s just a mouth without a plan. Well, he has plans but they carry all the credibility and feasibility of building a football stadium in downtown Los Angeles in a week for less than $5. He will be bad for America and will turn it into the laughingstock of the political world if he wins.

But his supporters love him because “he’s not afraid to speak his mind.”

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Okay, folks. Whatever.

So how does my extreme dislike of Trump have anything to do with the beginning of this blog post? Let me explain.

As I had mentioned, it’s an election year and people are desperate to share their opinions against the ones they hate and for the ones they support. My social media feeds are filled with both pro- and anti-Trump rhetoric with me being in the anti-Trump camp.

And I share pictures to show this.

For the most part, the things I’ve posted take a humorous slant at Trump because, let’s face it, he’s a joke. In addition to the one above, here are a few others.

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IMG_4905This last one is interesting because it includes a quote from Trump — a verifiable quote that was taken from one of his speeches.

It’s clear I don’t like the guy. But if I may, I’m going to defend him for a moment just for the sake of proving the point of how completely stupid people can be when it comes time to choose the next person to reside at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Here’s a Trump “quote” that’s been making the social media rounds — except that it’s a hoax.

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Times aren’t what they used to be. Forwarding a picture of a guy whose camera allegedly survived the WTC attacks may have been believable in 2001 but we’re smarter than that now — or at least I’d like to think we are.

I was curious about this quote because, despite it sounding like something he’d say, I wasn’t convinced that he did.

So I searched for it and one of the top Google hits was an article on Snopes that debunks it and breaks it down into little itty-bitty bite-size chunks. My instinct was right.

Then there’s this picture:

guatemala-border-fence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one is ugly because it mentions racism for the sake of proving that it’s okay for Mexico to be “racist” against Guatemala. This added fuel to the Trump supporters’ fire because of his totally rational plan to make Mexico build and pay for their own wall to keep out all of those rapists and drug dealers he talked about.

But ah, if only this picture told the real story. It doesn’t. Half of the land shown in this picture is freaking Arizona and was meant to draw attention to how the wall effects wildlife, not keeping Guatemalan immigrants out of Mexico.

Look, I know it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and start posting pictures like this willy-nilly but the least people can do is get their crap together and make sure they are accurate.

The Internet isn’t just Yahoo or Lycos anymore so don’t be so damn lazy because I’m going to be “that guy” and if I’m not, someone else will.

Get your facts straight or look like a fool. And let us not forget what the great Abraham Lincoln once said:

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