31 Years Later…

On this, the 31^st anniversary of Dad’s passing into the Great Beyond, I’ve decided to do quite a few things that I have never done in the past.

Let’s face it, there’s nothing bleaker than remembering a loved one on the day they died. I’d rather remember the times I had with Dad while he was still alive—what little memories I have.

In order to achieve this I’ve made a list of things I will do or not do this weekend, and here it is:

I will not cry. I’ve come to realize that although I love (always present tense) Dad dearly and miss him to this day, there was nothing that anybody could have done to stop what took his life—himself. Dad was an alcoholic and as such, he pretty much drank himself to an early grave. He was 42 when he died; I was 7.

I will move on. As part of what I consider finally accepting Dad’s passing, tonight and this weekend will be chock full of activities that not only will keep my mind from that dreadful day, but also what I think Dad would have approved of.

See, he loved seeing his boys happy and couldn’t stand watching them cry, kind of like the way I am with The Kid. It’s now my goal to see that he gets everything he needs, including endless days of happiness. And that’s why the family is going to Disneyland tonight to catch the fireworks show at 9:30. I have quite a few old pictures of us at Disneyland (will post tonight—no jokes about the really fat kid in the middle!) so the place obviously holds some sentimental value to me.

And this weekend, the Port of Los Angeles is giving its annual free harbor tours. I used to live close to the harbor and Dad used to work on the docks so again, there’s a connection. It’s not only for me, it’s a family thing. So on either Saturday or Sunday we will go and take a ride.

I will see Dad on another day. I think I’m going to skip leaving flowers for him this weekend. I’m pretty sure that with everything we have planned, Dad would want it that way. If he loved to see his boys smile I can’t even imagine the elation he would feel if he were around to see The Kid’s face light up when we enter The Enchanted Tiki Room, currently his favorite attraction.

The one thing that will remain, however, is the lighting of Dad’s Olympia Beer sign in the evening. While I know it’s the alcohol that took its toll on him, I remember watching that light do its thing for what seemed like hours. It made me happy to watch it and still does.

And I’m sure that still makes Dad smile.