Let’s Get (a) Physical


Well, I was going to embed that hackneyed Olivia Neutron-Bomb video in this post but it um…it’s got too many oily beau hunks for my liking. But hey, if that’s your thing, who am I to disappoint?

At any rate I went to the doctor today for my annual physical. Um, let me rephrase that. It was my first ever annual physical. I figured that at the age of 39 and with my hernia repair surgery a thing of the past, now was the time to get it done. Besides, the Grim Reaper’s bony grasp is inching ever closer and shows no sign of slowing down, so I best take care of myself now before it’s too late.

From all indications–physically, at least–I’m as in good a shape as a 39-year-old man can be. My weight was 204 lbs. which is almost where I want to be. That made me feel really, really good about myself. But what made all of this even better was my weight loss which astounded the doctor.

Doctor: You lost how much?

Me: Over 90 pounds.

Doctor: And you did this on your own?

Me: Yep. I just got tired of being fat.

Doctor: How did you do it?

Me: Eating less and moving more. In fact I rode my bike over 8 miles today before coming in to see you.

Doctor: (smiles) That’s very commendable. Most people don’t have the will power to lose that much.

Me: Well, I did and I haven’t looked back.

Needless to say, he was quite impressed as any doctor would be. If it’s your job to look after the welfare of your patients, such a significant drop in weight shows you’re serious about your health. And as most of you know, my weight loss is no joke to me.

Then it was time for the prostate exam. And guys, if you’ve never had one, it’s everything you’ve heard about. They may only last a few seconds but Lord have mercy, they seem like an eternity of…well…[description edited for taste] probing.

Ahem. But thankfully, everything checked out fine. And that’s good because I’m really not looking forward to my next one in a year. (In all seriousness, any guy my age should suck up the stigma of the prostate exam and get it done. It’s very important to your health, so guys, schedule yours today.)

About the only thing left to do is get my bloodwork done and that’ll happen when I’ve got some extra time. While I’m relatively certain that everything will be okay, there’s always that thought in the back of my mind that something will be wrong.

But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

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