Okay, ladies and germs, I just saw a commercial a few seconds ago for yet another strange product and since I’ve been absent a lot lately, I thought it would give me something to write about.
What exactly was the product? It was for The Party Potty which, if word spreads like wildfire as it tends to do on the Intarwebs, could be the next Snuggie. Here’s the gist of it.
The makers of this ridiculous contraption are trying to cash in on parents that, for some reason or another, have toddlers that find it difficult to pop a squat, blast a dukie, let it fly, pinch a loaf, etc. And apparently there are enough of these little dorks out there to warrant the invention of such an item, or at least that’s what the maker is hoping for—our kid was never one of them.
Basically, The Party Potty makes pissing and shitting fun! Here’s how it works.
The kit comes with biodegradable tissue paper upon which your child draws any picture they so desire: a target (or Wal-Mart if that’s your store of choice), a cartoon of Vanilla Ice, a depiction of President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize, etc.
The picture is then put into its rightful place by attaching it to clips around the toilet, which make the thing look like an octopus or a spider or Frankenstein’s commode. (Frankenstein’s Commode would be a great band name, by the way.) Then, when Dick or Jane finally need to go and actually have the guts to admit it in the first place, they simply let loose and KABOOM! the colorful drawing takes a hit of urine or shit. It’s crap- and piss-tastic, and could even double as a turd hammock if you think about it!
But wait, it’s not over! The parent then has to (eww!) manually release the paper into the toilet, flush, and then the paper swirls around the toilet in a plethora of colors that would make even Walt Disney blush. With all those cool colors swirling around, The Party Potty might also be suitable for tie-dying a few Grateful Dead shirts while you’re at it. I mean, think about it—their music is nothing more than a bunch of crap anyhow, so this would be a natural match.
Well, there you have it, yet another attempt at a big money grab. Now can you just imagine Billy Mays pushing this thing? He’d be a human laxative by scaring the shit right out of these commodophobic kids.
Images from The Party Potty Web site.
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Holographic Meatloaf: The Official Blog of Some Guy Named Dave 
AHAHAHAHAA! I know that potty training is difficult for some kids, but I don’t think this would help. I think it would have the opposite effect. Later on down the road, concerned teachers all over the world will be calling parents who purchased this device and inform them that while in art class, little Bobby/Suzy painted a beautiful landscape then turned around a took a fat shat on it. Oops.
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Wasn’t there an (African?) artist years ago that–forgive the pun–caused a major stink when he used feces to depict the Virgin Mary on canvas? I seem to recall that.
And no, I doubt this would work. For boys, Froot Loops and Cheerios seem to do the trick. Probably TMI but oh well… 🙂
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