My Tuna Salad Recipe

Before you think that you’ve accidentally stumbled upon some strange site or that it’s not me writing this, I can assure you that it really is me, Dave, and not an incredible simulation.

I decided to go ahead and post this since I haven’t written anything in a long time and to share my culinary expertise with the world. After all, a great meal always makes everybody happy, right?

Okay, so a little background on this. We always used to have tuna sandwiches when we were kids and they were, for the lack of a better term, pretty bland: tuna, mayo, relish. Not much imagination going on there.

Then one day, Mom decided to go a little crazy—by adding tomatoes. Again, not much happening there.

As the years went on I took the basic ingredients and expanded them in order to give the concoction better potency and flavor. And the family will agree that after years of experimenting, I think I have finally gotten it right.

So if you’re ready, let’s begin! Note that this is for the entire sandwich, hence the bagel at the end of the recipe.

Here’s what you’ll need (for one serving):

• (1) can of tuna (preferably Trader Joe’s Light Tongol in Water)
• (.5) lemon (or substitute with ReaLemon)
• (1.5) tbsp. Best Foods (or Hellman’s for you east-coasters) Light Mayonnaise
• French’s Mustard
• Trader Joe’s Lemon Pepper (with grinder)
• (2) Diced Vlasic Sweet Gherkins (DO NOT use relish! It defeats the purpose!)
• Diced red onion
• Diced tomatoes
• (1) Thomas’ Bagel Thins, Everything variety

Start by draining the can of tuna as much as you can. It’s gotta be pretty dry considering all of the stuff that’s going to go into it.

Next, start chopping up all of your vegetables. I insist on the two sweet gherkins per serving/can but as far as the onions and tomatoes go, try about an ounce of each. Or you can say, “Screw you, Dave! I’ll put as much or as little as I want!” which is cool, too. Just make sure to include them both.

Pour all of that stuff in a bowl.

Then comes the Best Foods/Hellman’s Light Mayonnaise, 1.5 tablespoons. And while you’re at it, throw in the mustard, which should be one good squeeze but not a whole lot. In short, the portion should look like this:

Once you have all that, get your Trader Joe’s Lemon Pepper ready. Grind it about 10 times and toss it in the mix. Then finally, squeeze the entire lemon half or ReaLemon (using about the same amount of mustard) into the bowl.

Before you start mixing it all up, toast the Thomas’ Bagel Thin so that it’ll be ready by the time you’re done. Start mixing it all up then give the mixture a taste to see if it needs anything else. At this point, I occasionally add another two grinds of the lemon pepper or a squirt of lemon.

And when the bagel’s done, add the tuna salad mix and in this case, a slice of 2% American cheese. You’ll then have something that looks like this:

As you can see, not only do you have enough tuna salad for the sandwich, you also have a enough to eat on the side or even save for the next day. And if you add it all up, you’re looking at:

• 400 calories (give or take a few)
• 14g fat
• 48g protein
• 5g fiber

Note that those numbers include the cheese which is something I decided to throw in as an extra ingredient today. Naturally, excluding the cheese will bring them down a bit. And while the fat content might be a little high, look at all the protein you get! That’s nearly the RDA for protein all in one sandwich so that you can use to do some running or other exercising! Keep in mind that you can substitute the light mayonnaise with alternatives that are much lower in fat, but you truly do sacrifice some of the flavor in doing so.

Another alternative to this sandwich is to put it on regular bread and stuff it in a panini maker so that you can make a tuna melt. It’s darn good if I do say so myself.

And what’s great about this is that tuna tends to be on the cheap side so you can buy it in bulk, and chances are you already have most of this stuff in your fridge, so the cost of the meal will be very low. It works out all the way around!

Well, there you have it. Give it a try and let me know what you think!