There’s nothing that I can say that I haven’t already said about the man I love, the man I miss, and the man who left me as a child on this day in 1976.
But I will type them once again through eyes that are swelling with tears.
Dad, I love you and miss you. I still hope with all my heart that I can be at least half the father to Anthony as you were to me. Despite the demons that haunted you and unnecessarily ended your life too soon, there wasn’t a day that I don’t recall seeing a smile on your face and making me happy.
It’s hard to deal with even 36 years later. Sadness, frustration, downright anger. I feel them all and should because no child should have to deal with losing the one person in their life they think is indestructible.
But I have, and chances are you’d be damn proud of how I’ve picked up and carried on. And even if a tear still falls now and then, I know you’d be the first one by my side to cheer me up. You were like that. I can see you doing it.
I’m also quite sure you’d be proud of your grandson who is too much like me. I tell him stories of us and he can’t believe what he hears.
I can’t say much more. The tears are starting to be too much and my heart is heavy.