Thoughts on Today

I didn’t watch the news when I got home because there’s nothing more I need to hear. I’m also composing this entry from my phone to avoid going online and seeing needlessly large images of grieving parents at the scene of the massacre.

Knowing the shooter’s name and caliber weapon are completely useless. They mean nothing to me nor should they be given any more coverage.

What does matter is that innocent children were whisked away from this world all too quickly and for no apparent reason. We will never, ever make sense of today’s events but it’s guaranteed that some yahoo will take the time to turn it into a political circus about gun control.

I prefer not to.

What I am doing is taking time to reflect on what did happen and keep the families of the victims in my thoughts. I want them to know that as a parent, my heart aches for them and I openly wept when I got home from work today and embraced Anthony. I broke down — a rarity under any circumstances for me — as I explained why it was so important for me to hug him at the moment since he hadn’t heard yet. He tightly hugged me back when I told him the news.

I was both sad and angry knowing that the parents of 20 children will no longer experience the loving embrace of their beautiful little boys or girls. They’ll never again wipe away their tears, kiss their boo-boos, scare away the imaginary monsters from their closets, read them bedtime stories to lull them back to sleep. The last moments of their happy little lives were spent listening to the sound of bullets flying from some fool’s firearm, screams, cries.

They must now bury them and that is so [expletive withheld with much strength] wrong.

As we hugged and I continued to tell him about today’s news, it broke my heart to look over at our Christmas tree. I cannot imagine the pain the parents must be suffering during what should be the most joyous time of the year. It’s absolutely incomprehensible.

I will not be on Facebook the next few days as I don’t think it’s the time for my usual topics of discussion or humor. I’m voluntarily going off the grid to reflect on the event and try my best to understand even though I know there will be no answers.

And I will never, ever take time with Anthony for granted ever again.