Blogging 365, Day 35: Novelas and Papa’s Snoring


"Look here, bitch..."

What you are looking at is a screengrab from what could quite possibly be the most poorly written and acted commercial in the history of mankind.

The commercial is for AT&T’s U-Verse TV service which offers the unique feature of being portable through the incorporation of a wireless receiver. In this commercial, a group of Hispanic girls are obviously smitten with the star of their favorite (fictional) novela, Viva el Amor, but are unable to watch the show because of one problem: the father of the girl in green is not only asleep but he’s sawing some serious logs as well.

So, in an attempt to make things better, the only other girl who has a line in the commercials says, “Let’s move him” which I take to mean the star of the novela. Green Girl then goes over to Papa’s Barcalounger to try to move him instead of the TV.

“What are you doing?” asks the other girl.

That’s when the drama unfolds and Green Girl delivers the over-acted line of, “Well…back in my day, this was the only way we could hear the novelas over Papa’s snoring.” This means that as a little girl she had to roll Papa’s ass out of the room so she could watch her novelas in peace since apparently he has a really bad case of narcolepsy.

Duh, beeyotch!

That’s when Mom behind her nods approvingly with one hell of a goofy smile on her face. Note her crazy eyes, too. We also here some other smartass say “Whatever” off-screen.

The other girl then tells Green Girl they’ll be in the patio and demands she bring the popcorn. Then they wheel the TV and wireless receiver — still plugged in, by the way — into the patio to enjoy the show while Papa snores his ass off.

This commercial irks me to no end and I want to throw a brick at my TV each time I see it. As I said, it’s so poorly written and acted that the mere 30 seconds it’s on seems like an eternity. It’s stupid, stereotypical, and downright annoying with as many times as they show it.

It just makes me that much happier to be a Verizon FiOS customer.

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