Close But No Cigar


If there’s anything good about going for walks or getting around in general, it’s that you can come across a bunch of cool stuff. “Dumpster diving” as it were.

When I rode my bike to that last shithole of a job I had, I came across my share of street reflectors that had come loose and were strewn here and there. Sure, I picked them up and gave them to Anthony and he now has a decent collection of them. That’s cool stuff for a kid.

While walking a few weeks ago I came across three 5-gallon buckets of paint. No big deal, right? It was for us—we are planning to remodel the bathroom and this would save us quite a bit of money. So I finished up my walk, drove over to the buckets and hauled them home.

And just a few days ago while taking Anthony to school, I came across what I thought was the mother lode: someone was throwing out a 61” Samsung rear-projection TV.

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But it wasn’t without its problems. See that yellow note on the upper right corner? It reads “Needs new bulb.”

It didn’t matter. I packed it up and hauled it home and immediately starting researching the cost of a bulb. If it worked, this would be perfect because our old Sony WEGA TV in the living room is about to die anyhow.

When I got it home, I plugged it in to see if the thing showed any signs of life. It did, but there was no picture to be seen. Bummer.

I then called a few places about the replacement bulb. One told me they didn’t carry them and to check online. Another quoted me a price of $285 (as I laughed hysterically). My only other option was to check eBay and hope for the best.

And of course, eBay came through.

I found one for $95 with shipping and tax so I went ahead and ordered it, so all we needed to do was wait for the bulb to show up at our door. And today was the day.

leglamp We were about as excited as The Old Man was when his leg lamp arrived. Come on, essentially, we were getting a 61” TV for only $95. You’d be pretty jazzed about it too, wouldn’t you?

Per the instructions, I put on a pair of rubber gloves to avoid getting skin oils on the potentially hot bulb, removed the old one, replaced it with the new one, put it back into the TV and fired it up.

Nothing happened.

Nope, one one damn thing. About the only thing I got out of it was sound from the coax cable running from the FiOS box. But other than that, hopes of getting a TV on the cheap were never to be, and the cost of repairing it from this point on may be just a bit out of my range.

6a00e55139cdc88834010534a280e3970c-800wi So, much in the way I found it in the first place, I plopped the TV out in the parkway so some other sucker…I mean, someone else can take it home and try and work on it. I even left the note on it. And within 30 minutes, there was a knock on the door.

Some dude was asking if he could take it and I told him it was all his, and that I tried a new bulb but to no avail. He said thanks and he and a buddy loaded it in the back of their truck.

For whatever their reasons, five minutes later they returned and left the TV right where they found it. No kidding—it’s sitting out there taunting me as I type, like Franklin and that damn slot machine.

I will be sending the bulb back tomorrow to get my money back, minus shipping and restocking fee, of course. And the next time I see some random crap sitting around while on my walk or whatever, remind me to run in the opposite direction and never look back.


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Take That, Barney!


4127I’ve gotten into the habit of walking during my lunch lately because, let’s face it, The People’s Court hasn’t been the same since Judge Wapner and Rusty left. That’s what I’d usually watch that after consuming my lunch but this week I’ve gotten fitness on the brain and can’t seem to sit still during lunch, so I had to do something about it.

Through the magic of Google Earth I was able to determine that three laps around the parking lot equals a little over one mile. That’s not one hell of a lot when compared to what I used to do at my last job but when you combine that with my daily bike ride to work, it definitely helps.

At any rate, I was coming around the bend on my last lap when I saw my buddy Barney Rubble enter the parking lot in his Hyundai Crapmobile. (Note: Barney’s seen me drive to work in the Escape, the Lincoln, and obviously knows about the bike.) He turned well in front of me and eventually found a space as close to the building as he could possibly get. You know, since that lot is so full and so big

As he exited his Korean beer can, he saw me approaching. I noticed he had a bag in his hand and he was heading over to the trash to throw it away. Barney spoke up.

“You ride your bike to work and go for a walk during lunch?” he said incredulously. While the fork-tongued lil’ demon inside of me wanted to unleash some very naughty words to my most favoritest person at work, I held my composure as I strolled by.

“Yep, because nobody is going to do it for me,” I said with a smile, like a Cheshire cat that just swallowed a huge mouse–or like Garfield after a plate of lasagna.

“I guess not,” said Barney as he chucked his crumpled-up McDonald’s bag into the dumpster and rolled his globular body past me.

Two cars, one bike, not a lazy motherfarker like he is.

Check and mate, Barney. Check-and-effing-mate.


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Spellcheck!


Spellcheck!, originally uploaded by aeromat.

From the Phone-Cam: With backers like this, it’s no wonder why McCain lost!

What A Party!


There are reasons why I always carry my camera with me to work. While my phone-cam definitely works in a pinch, there are times when I want to shoot something at a higher resolution than my phone is capable of. It is a phone after all.

Yesterday while walking to the train I happened upon a site that I believed was worthy of such quality. See what you think (click to embiggen):

An empty bottle of Beefeater gin, A1 Steak Sauce, and a few cigarette butts.

That must have been one hell of a party.


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Can You Still Love


I saw this sign standing off the dirt path beneath the MTA Green Line’s Mariposa Ave. station during my daily walk.

I tried to figure out what it meant or why it was even there, but I later chose not to read into its literal meaning and analyze the philosophical aspect instead: Can you still love?