My Desk This Morning…

Phone-Cam documentation:

I’m gonna look real cute taking this home on the train…

Suck It, ProFlowers

(Note: This was supposed to be posted last night but I was up to the–wait for it–“Wii” hours of the morning again, playing video games. So here it is, albeit a little late. Watch for another post later tonight.)

It’s bad enough that florists, online or otherwise, take advantage of consumers this time of year.

Take ProFlowers, for example. I’ve ordered from them a few times in the past with relative ease, save for my check card being a bit lighter when it was all said and done.

Anyway, as if you don’t already know, class action lawsuits seem to follow me. Not by my own doing, I’d like to add. And it’s the result of a lawsuit against ProFlowers.com—a whopping $10 credit on my next order—that prompted me to order from them yet again. (An aside: Apparently they were sued for making false representations regarding the freshness of their flowers.)

So about a week ago, I placed my order. I figured that I’ll avoid the Valentine’s Day Rush and everything would be in place perfectly. There was time. And not only was I armed with my $10 credit, I also used another “radio listener” discount that garnered me “a free glass vase.” I figured hell, if they’re trying to screw me I might as well return the favor. (Hint: Input the name JOHN in the upper right of the Web site when you place your order to get your “free vase.”)

I went through the whole rigormarole of picking a nice bouquet of two dozen roses, chocolates, and my “free glass vase.” It looked stunning. I’m sure Ann would like it. I get an overview of my order, pay, and sit back and wait to feel the love.

Today I get my tracking number in my e-mail and wait for Ann to call me and tell me what a thoughtful, loving, caring, and generous husband I am.

Instead she calls me and tells me that the order did not include the vase. WTF?

So I call ProFlowers and after a few minutes, I almost had a resolution—then I was disconnected. Then I called back and dealt with someone who should just be glad to have a job.

The previous person told me I had three choices: 1) have a new vase sent out in a few days (which defeats the purpose), 2) have the order replaced or 3) have half of the order amount credited back to my account. This guy, however, had no clue and only offered to send out a new vase, scheduled to arrive in three days. And I hate like hell to tell people how to do their jobs, but there’s times when it’s necessary.

I gave him the gist of what the previous phone monkey told me and told him that I’d rather have my money refunded. As I heard the whistling of the air blowing through his empty head, he puts me on hold for a few minutes and then comes back and tells me my account would be credited in 5-7 days.

While appreciate the effort, I would have rather had them get the order right.