Reader E-Mail

E-mailFor tonight’s post I thought I’d share with you a strange e-mail that I received the other night. What made it strange was that it was sent to one of the many e-mail addresses I’ve associated with this blog, but since I’ve been finally able to get an e-mail address with my domain, I haven’t used that address and as far as I know it’s not even mentioned anywhere. Go figure.

So who am I to disappoint, right? If it’s an answer you want, it’s an answer Dave will give you.

The e-mail came from Susan, who asked the following:

Hi,
What happens if you dont eat for a month? I don`t know if you are the right person to ask, but any advice/pointers you might have would be very much appreciated. Please point me in the right direction.

Thankyou,
Susan

Well, Susan, thanks for the e-mail. But I think that the answer to your question is simple: you’d die. I mean, unless you’re Gandhi, is there a reason not to eat for a month? He did it for peace (or something) and I doubt you’re that devoted to the ideal of world peace through fasting or starvation. You simply wouldn’t have the intestinal fortitude to do it, methinks. And it would just be stupid anyhow.

Hope that helped.

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5

Demuth-Figure5InGoldA few posts ago I wrote about a creepy-cool shirt I bought at the Marukai store, and that I would send the image to my buddy in Japan for a explanation of what it all means.

Never being the one to disappoint (for the most part), I thought I’d share what the shirt says with all of you. Here is what he told me:

Well, your shirt is a parody of a temple in Nikko.

Basically, it’s word-play as Japanese has few phonetics compared to most languages. Miwazu, kikazu, Iwazu equates to don’t look, don’t listen, don’t speak AKA hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil y’know. So instead of miwazu it becomes mizaru and saru/zaru is monkey hence the word-play in the zu and za. I guess the last one if funny because ‘touch’ in Japanese is sawaru and if you take out the middle sound, you get saru… (my girlfriend) liked it so I guess it’s safe.

So, um…yeah, there you go. I think that makes me feel slightly better about wearing the shirt in public, which I did today and didn’t have anybody pointing and either laughing or beating my ass to a bloody pulp.

This brings us full circle for you see, this friend of mine was the first one to leave a comment on my first post at my old blog over 5 years ago. The only problem with all of this is that for some reason, I thought today was the anniversary of my first blog post. Well, as you can tell by the date of my first post, I’m a little late.

So at any rate, here’s to 5 years of blogging at this URL and my former, sicksenseofhumor.net. It’s been fun and I don’t see any reason to quit any time soon. You all have been a blast and I always enjoy hearing from you. Hope you stick around 🙂

The thumbnail image is Charles Demuth’s “The Figure 5 In Gold” which is one of my favorite pieces of art and the reason I chose it for this post. The background image for the new banner is an image I took this last 4th of July. I just thought it looked cool, so there.

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Now playing: Eddie Boyd – Five Long Years
via FoxyTunes

Long Day

Idearc Picnic [Olympus] 075

Swinging for the fences

I’m beat, folks. As a matter of fact, I’m in bed composing this post on my iPod Touch so that I can somewhat relax and write at the same time. (UPDATE: Pics and other thingies added this morning from the PC.)

Why so tired, you ask? Today was our company’s picnic-slash-*softball tournament which ran until 5 p.m. or so, depending on how well your team fared in the events. (Our department made it to the third round but lost that game.) When it was all said and done I went 3-for-5 between the three games, scored a run and had a few RBIs. Not bad for a guy in his 40s that hadn’t played in a long time.

I also ate a lot but figured if I’m going to be running around then everything will be cool. I also did a lot of people-watching between our games and made some observations:

– I’m glad I lost weight because Lord knows I don’t want to end up like what seemed to be every other guy there, guys resembling Babe Ruth with skinny legs and beer bellies protruding to the point of eclipsing their feet when they look down. Looked like we were playing a gaggle of pregnant men with their size 48 stomachs covered by a shirt and tucked into their size 36 shorts. Give it up, man. You’re not fooling anybody.

– Said individuals took these games, intended to be more fun than anything, way too seriously. Sure, we had some ground rules in place before the game but c’mon, guys, there’s no need to nitpick over the hitting abilities of someone that’s only played a few times in their life, claiming their feeble swing was more of a bunt, which is illegal in softball. If you’re that passionate about a meaningless company softball game, I’d hate to see you at a game that mattered. What a bunch of asshole crybabies.

– Softball is perfect for these guys, whiny bizznitches that no longer have the eye-hand coordination to hit a fastball nor the physical ability to run down a fly ball or steal a base. They’d be winded after one inning of hardball.

– My issue was about the batting orders and position players. I was placed at the bottom of the lineup for the first two games and rotated into position every two innings because we had so many people. This didn’t set to well with me because I attended each practice we had over the last two weeks and there were people I’d never seen before hitting way before me and playing the field while I sat and waited. Kind of screwed if you ask me.

I didn’t take many pictures but I did post a few on my Facebook account. I will post them here tomorrow since, well, the computer’s in the living room and my aching body just feels so damned relaxed here in the bed.

That’s all, folks. The sandman awaits.

* Why didn’t I just use a / instead of spelling it out? Who knows…


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Ad-Free Blogging

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My inbox has been inundated lately with what appear to be innocent, hey-let’s-be-buddies-and-exchange-links queries. The truth is the owners of these so-called “blogs” are trying to get something for nothing by pushing their sites wherever possible, namely blogs. And it pisses me off.

So why do these queries turn your old pal Dave into a big green monster?

Because I do this for free. You reading that, you free ad-seeking assholes? I get paid nothing to blog. I do this for my own entertainment and for the enjoyment of my thousands of two loyal readers. My wallet doesn’t get lined with every entry I post. In fact, it costs me money for the domain name and domain mapping, money I barely have these days now that I’m bringing home half of what I used to make. Shit, I still haven’t renewed my Flickr account because I don’t have the extra $25 to spend on that at the moment.

So if you’re one of the many that have attempted to submit such a request, or plan on doing it, please read the following:

Holographic Meatloaf is, and always will be*, an ad-free blog. There are reasons.

  • Outside of an occasional blurb somewhere on a page but not within the text of the entry, WordPress does not allow advertising on their blogs. Any (AdSense) ads you may see on my blog are under the control of WordPress; this helps keep my blog hosting free.
  • WordPress does not support JavaScript so even if I wanted to run some AdSense ads, I couldn’t.

Now don’t get me wrong here, guys. I have no problem mentioning a product name for the sake of a review, good or bad. That’s because there are no products or services paying my bills–literally. I’m free to say whatever the fuck I want, how I want, about any-fucking-thing I want without feeling any repercussions. And that’s the real beauty of blogging.

So please, if you are one of those fools trying to pass off your site as some kind of bogus blog, don’t bother to contact me to “exchange links,” okay, brah? I won’t even reply anymore; I’ll just delete your e-mail. I’m one broke motherfugger right now and it’s no fun. You can’t get blood from a stone, people.

This rule also applies to not-for-profit organizations. I got an e-mail a while back for some organization that helped kids or something, and while I felt that their hearts were truly in the right place and the cause was truly worthwhile, I didn’t think that placing a banner or icon for the organization on my template would be appropriate considering the sometimes questionable topics and profanity-laden contents of my blog.

So there. That’s all done for. For my next post, I will review what could probably be one of the Worst. Products. Evar. Seriously, this has to be the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever put together, and I wouldn’t wish the assembly process on my worst enemy.

Rant over. Off to bed!

*Unless some fool offers me truckloads of money for the domain or the site, in which case I’m gonna say “Fuck it!” and let them do whatever the Hell the want!

—————-
Now playing: Slim Harpo – I Need Money (Keep Your Alibis)
via FoxyTunes


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ZOMG!! TEH FACE OF EVAL!!11!1!

Ah, camping. There’s nothing like being one with nature, being free of the hassles of the daily grind, hanging out with Satan…

Wait, what?

Here’s a picture I took of the roaring firepit where we made S’mores on Saturday night:

FACE-OF-EVIL

Click to enlarge

Do you see what I see? No? So go ahead and click on this one already, ya yutz!

Click to enlarge

Click to enlarge

ZOMG!!1! It’s the face of The Dark Lord himself! Beelzebub! Mr. Scratch! Old Nick! Belial! George Bush! Mephistopheles! Der Leibhaftige!

STEP AWAY FROM THE FIRE, YOU MOTHERFUGGERS!

Ahem. Come on now, people. You know damn well that that’s not Satan so don’t embarrass me. I mean, you’d expect him to be in a pit of fire, right?

But I’m sure he’d tell some kick-ass campfire stories…

—————-
Now playing: The Alan Parsons Project – Lucifer
via FoxyTunes


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