I got a call from a person today, someone who stated that they saw my resume on one of the many employment sites where I have it posted. I figure that there’s no real harm in doing so when I take into consideration that my job, and this may sound physically impossible, both sucks and blows.
At any rate, this Valerie person wanted to speak to me about a position “with her company,” a phrase which should have set off the imaginary sirens and flashing lights deep within the walls of my cranium.
Ever known a siren to be a good thing? I didn’t think so.
So I call Valerie back and inquire about the position. I should have hung up immediately because after the obligatory cheerful salutations, she started her spiel about the position and if I was properly trained, would I be interested in helping people control their debt and manage their wealth. Ahem.
“Lady, I’m terrible with numbers,” I bluntly said, “and I’m the last person I’d want to be entrusted with managing someone’s money.” She laughed a fake laugh and continued about the training and whatnot.
And that’s when I should have gotten nasty but I didn’t. I kindly stated that this position really wasn’t what I was in the job market for, and ended the conversation.
As a refresher for those of you living in caves, allow me to reiterate that my last two jobs–proofreader and magazine writer–had absolutely nothing to do with managing wealth or debt. I would have no fucking clue as to how to manage wealth, even with “proper training.” Shit, I have problems passing the Skittles machine at work and not dropping a few quarters into it. So where in the Hell on my resume does it say that I’m a CPA or have a PhD in Economics? Why would they even bother to call someone like me about this position?
Oh, I get it. It’s because places like this “hire” any concertina-playing monkey walking the street, have them pay a fee for some kind of license, and the poor monkey never sees anything in return. In fact, they should have stayed playing the concertina for spare change because at least that job would yield some dividends.
Man, in some ways, I feel sorry for any sucker that falls for that garbage, but they should know better. Then again, at least they wouldn’t be doing my funky two-bit job…
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