I Gotta Headache

Much in the way that there are distinct differences in the terms everyday and every day, there also seems to be a difference between gotta and got a.

Look, I understand that gotta is a bastardization and not in the dictionary but it seems to be an acceptable term–at least when used correctly. Whereas gotta tends to be a sufficient substitute for the terms got to or have to, got a usually means that you are in possession of the subject of the sentence.

Examples of gotta:

• “Man, I really gotta go pee!”
• “That’s gotta hurt.”
• “I’ve gotta go and rake up the leaves. FML.”

Examples of got a:

• “I’ve got a camera just like that.”
• “The cat’s got a cold again.”
• “Shit, I just got a summons for jury duty.”

But apparently, there’s a disturbing trend that seems to suggest otherwise.

Gotta door? I gotta door what? Maybe if my door had a problem and this ad read “Gotta Door Problem?” then I might not have an issue with it. But this? This is just stupidly lame.

(In Musclehead’s quote, by the way, I’d change the comma to a question mark and also, there’s no period at the end. Oh, and “5 time” should be hyphenated.)

Then there’s The Black Eyed Peas, an extremely overrated group that ranks right down there with my other “favorite” artist, Jimmy Buffett (read: I can’t fucking stand either of them). Here’s their red-buzzer moment:

I Have to Feeling. Nuh-uh.

I Got to Feeling. Wrong.

I Got A Feeling. Mmm, still not entirely correct but it’s more acceptable than the others and is therefore your winner.

Now using the suggestions above, here’s my example:

• “Ugh. I’ve gotta headache and got a go and take some aspirin, then get to bed.”

See how it works? Now let these lads from Liverpool properly school you.

Take me home, boys.