Random Thoughts for November 19, 2011

Remember when Saturday mornings meant sitting in front of the TV and watching Looney Tunes until you puked or at least got tired of that goddamned Speedy Gonzales and what could be considered the very first undocumented case of ADHD?

Yeah, I miss those days, too. Now we’re slammed with crappy E-rated ‘toons that are no longer violent and therefore not worthy of our time.

That’s why I’m posting these, some more random thoughts that went through my head and had the time to jot down in my Palm Pilot. Um, Android.

Not that these are much more funny or have anything to do with Saturday morning Looney Tunes but there seems to be a lot of ADD going on here. I think. Maybe. I don’t know.

Oh, look! A poodle!

Let them begin!

(Points) Doppelganger! (Loudly) DOP-PEL-GAN-GER!

Well, pardon me while I burst into flames. (An homage to Incubus’ “Pardon Me”)

Of course fat people are big tippers. Someone made their food and it’s being delivered to them. That’s fat guy heaven right there.

So does this condition have a name? Because right now it sounds like bullshit.

Did you just call the coffee machine a “fucker”? (I actually said this to a coworker)

Man recalls the night he met his future wife in full detail. Starship’s “Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now” plays in background. Wife interrupts and says, “Hey, that wasn’t me! We met at the Wendy’s drive-thru window when I dropped a Frosty on your crotch!”

I used to be okay with you, but that was before I realized how fucking annoying you really are.

That’s nice, go away.

Ah, Christmas…the grand parade of lifeless of packaging. (An homage to Genesis’ “The Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging”)

You know, you were on vacation for a week and it felt like you were gone for a month. You’ve only been back for 5 minutes and you’re already bugging the fuck out of me.

I was fine until that whole questioning-my-existence thing kicked in. Damn that Catholic church.

He threw a fuckin’ dinner roll at me! What a dick!

See, here’s the thing: I don’t fucking care.

Wow, who expected all those f-bombs?

You did, of course. Well, at least you should expect them coming here.

I could probably branch this Random Thoughts category into an entirely new blog but Jesus, I already have 3 blogs. I’ll stick to posting them here.

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