I Will Not Be Consumed

I had one of those moments at work that would have made look quite the fool if I hadn’t caught it. Not like many people at work would have even batted an eye at it, but my fellow proofreaders may have gotten a chuckle at least.

Our office has played host to meetings all this week and as a result, there has been plenty of food flying around the place – breakfast and lunch plus dessert. Once the meeting attendees get their servings, the rest of the office is invited over to grab what’s left and with there being fewer attendees than anticipated, there’s plenty.

And with me still trying to keep a handle on my eating habits after losing a little bit of weight, it hasn’t been easy. After all, losing is only half the battle. The real trick is keeping it off.

But my will has definitely been tested this week with all the goodies. It kind of reminds me of when I was background acting: always having access to food, but with a little work involved this time. (There’s no work involved in background acting, but it is fun.)

I have planned for this, though. With all this food I’ve gotten into the habit of not packing a lunch and preparing a plate for the following day or even one to take home. That’s what I did the day of the first meeting and when I almost made that little mistake.

You see, the boss doesn’t like food being stored in the fridge for more than a day because people tend to forget it. She’s really good at going in there and throwing out what she’s described as “science experiments gone bad” when the need arises and chances are she won’t tell anyone. Food is only to be left in there for one day at the most.

Knowing this, I made a plate with Monday’s meeting food so that I could eat it on Tuesday. I grabbed another plate to cover my meal and in order to alert the boss and others that it would be eaten soon, I was about to write the following on the top plate:

DAVID M.
TO BE CONSUMED
3/13/12

Simple, right? My name and the date the meal was to be eaten.

Or the day that the zombie cannibals came for me to eat me alive.

Yeah. That’s what I had planned to write on it before getting as far as “TO BE” and realizing my error. Instead, I flipped the plates over and wrote the following:

At least this way, and with the addition of the separator, the implication is to not throw the plates and their contents away as the meal will be eaten on 3/13/12.

The food, not me.