The Worst Snack in the History of Forever

I like Lemonheads. I really do. But my love for them is simply because they are a sugary, sour snack that should remain as such.

So whose bright idea was it to combine the delightfully sour-sweet flavor of Lemonheads with the goodness that are almonds?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, behold Lemonhead Almonds—the worst snack in the history of mankind.

I bought these the other day at Walgreens since they were sitting in a cartful of clearance items, which should have been my indication that something was definitely amiss. Not that all items on the cart were useless because I’m sure any lady would have gone nuts at the sight of pantyhose for 50 cents a pair. But my instincts were sort of telling me to pass on them.

But I didn’t. I purchased them and tried one when I got home. The almonds, not the pantyhose.

BLECCH! Words can’t describe the flavor of the candy coating, which tasted nothing like Lemonheads. Well, maybe words can. Here’s a tweet I found from user @VirtualWitte:

I would have to say that description is more than accurate. In fact, Lemon Pledge might even be an upgrade from these things (although I wouldn’t recommend inhaling those fumes). And I’ve tried to eat a few of them and different ways, like letting the coating melt away then going for the almond.

No dice. The flavor of the coating is so abhorrent that it shouldn’t be suitable for human consumption. Also, the flavor remains on the almond which completely ruins what was once a perfectly good almond. I don’t think I even swallowed one of these things after chewing them a few times; I spit them out.

How bad were these things?

The dog wouldn’t even eat them, and he licks his private and eats crayons.

So in a nutshell, these things suck and taste like ass. If you see them or if are ever offered one, my suggestion would be to run, run, run fast and far. Nothing good will come from trying them and Ferrara Pan should be ashamed to put their name and reputation on these things.

Then again…