Happy Halloween!

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We just got in from a fun night of trick-or-treating. We saw some cool decorations like this, Anthony and his friend got quite a haul, and a guy a few blocks over was having his annual neighborhood party where he feeds whoever shows up.

And to top it off, it started to rain just as we walked in the door.

Not a bad night at all!

Posted from my HTC one M7 with the WordPress app

The Worst Snack in the History of Forever

I like Lemonheads. I really do. But my love for them is simply because they are a sugary, sour snack that should remain as such.

So whose bright idea was it to combine the delightfully sour-sweet flavor of Lemonheads with the goodness that are almonds?

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, behold Lemonhead Almonds—the worst snack in the history of mankind.

I bought these the other day at Walgreens since they were sitting in a cartful of clearance items, which should have been my indication that something was definitely amiss. Not that all items on the cart were useless because I’m sure any lady would have gone nuts at the sight of pantyhose for 50 cents a pair. But my instincts were sort of telling me to pass on them.

But I didn’t. I purchased them and tried one when I got home. The almonds, not the pantyhose.

BLECCH! Words can’t describe the flavor of the candy coating, which tasted nothing like Lemonheads. Well, maybe words can. Here’s a tweet I found from user @VirtualWitte:

I would have to say that description is more than accurate. In fact, Lemon Pledge might even be an upgrade from these things (although I wouldn’t recommend inhaling those fumes). And I’ve tried to eat a few of them and different ways, like letting the coating melt away then going for the almond.

No dice. The flavor of the coating is so abhorrent that it shouldn’t be suitable for human consumption. Also, the flavor remains on the almond which completely ruins what was once a perfectly good almond. I don’t think I even swallowed one of these things after chewing them a few times; I spit them out.

How bad were these things?

The dog wouldn’t even eat them, and he licks his private and eats crayons.

So in a nutshell, these things suck and taste like ass. If you see them or if are ever offered one, my suggestion would be to run, run, run fast and far. Nothing good will come from trying them and Ferrara Pan should be ashamed to put their name and reputation on these things.

Then again…

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It’s Easter

PEEPS

Have a great day, all!

What Would You Say?

We were having a little fun at work with those Valentine candy hearts that have those sappy and often dated sentiments on them. Here are the results of just a few, taken with the Phone Cam:

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We could have crafted even more of these things but stupid work kept getting in the way. So in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, head on over to this page, create a candy heart of your own and post a link to the image in the Comments section.

No rules on this one. Now get thinking and get busy!

The Almond Roca Theory

almond-roca1Just before we left work for our week-and-a-half vacation, I mentioned to a few of my coworkers my theory about Almond Roca candies.

Now don’t get me wrong–they are very tasty and very fattening. In fact, did you know there’s more fat in three Almond Roca pieces (15g) than in a McDonald’s cheeseburger (12g)? If that’s not reason enough for you to avoid eating one (or three for that matter), then perhaps my little theory will be. It definitely worked on my coworkers who sarcastically thanked me each time they walked over to that famous pink tin can for another piece.

Here we go, and you’ll probably figure it out well before I finish my story.

Dogs, as you may or may not know, enjoy eating anything they can find. Some of my dog Arliss’ favorite treats can be found in Cindy’s cat box which isn’t covered, allowing him complete access to Cindy’s litter-encrusted gems.

One day after shooing him out of the box for the umpteenth time, Ann asked me why dogs like eating cat shit. While the simple and logical explanation is that dogs are just fucking stupid animals, I had an epiphany and I had to share it with her.

“Maybe he thinks they’re Almond Rocas.”

You can thank me in the Comments section 🙂


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