Favorite Sayings

This post was inspired by a bulletin my brother posted on MySpace. I thought it was a pretty good idea so I’m going to do one myself.

I try not to throw out any hackneyed or biblical phrases, like the whole “judge not lest ye be judged” or “even a broken clock is right twice a day.” Jesus Christ, I’m Dave not Will Rogers, people.

So without further ado, here’s a list of things I say quite frequently. Profanities ahead? Oh, you betcha. Explanations follow if I think they are needed. In no particular order:

“Live the dream, dude.” Used when somebody decides to do something so outlandishly stupid that I don’t even know how to respond.
“Oh, balls.” A shortened version of “‘Oh balls,’ said the Queen. ‘If I had two, I’d be King.'”
“Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.”
“Thanks, I think” or “Thanks? Question mark?” When somebody does or tells me something that is questionable.
“Go on wit’cho bad self.” When somebody has the gumption to tackle something on their own.
“What the bloody hell?” With an emphasis is on “what”
“Hah?” For when you didn’t hear something the first time. This is always said in the style of The Dude.
“Do what, now?”
“Who shot who in the what, now?” When someone explains something to you so rapidly that I didn’t get everything they said, which could lead to a Purple Monkey Diswasher if you’re not careful.
“Great moments with Mr. Lincoln!” Surprise, excitement, epiphany.
“Oh, fuck me (to tears already)!” For when you’ve just had enough, like with tonight’s Dodger loss to the Phillies.
“Yoink!” Used when grabbing something, ala The Simpsons. (Many here were inspired by the show.)
“S/he’s a special kind of stupid.” Usually used to describe our dog Arliss.
“Bite me, jackass.”
“What the fuzzy?” Taken from the Disney animated program Pepper Ann.
“Well, that’s a bummer.” My way of calmly telling somebody (while shrugging) that the problem they just presented me is not as big as they think and they need to move on already.
“Whatever with that!”* Immediate dismissal.
“What are you lookin’ at, ugly?”* For people who are staring too much.

I think that’s all I got for now or at least what I’m willing to divulge. Should I remember more, I’ll update the post. If you feel the need to add your faves in the Comments section, the go on wit’cho bad self.