The Big Chair


5268I had to make a quick run to the store on Saturday to pick up a few forgotten items for our Mother’s Day lunch. While on my way to the store I came across a chair that somebody was throwing out. Huge “FREE” sign on it and all.

Being that I was driving the Lincoln LS I simply had no room to haul the thing home, I called Ann and inquired if she wanted it. She agreed, so I drove home and me and The Kid then hopped into the Escape to bring home the booty.

The Mission-style chair looked to be in decent shape from my previous drive-by but upon closer inspection–and the removal of a plastic tarp resting upon it–there appeared to be some kind of dry, powdery substance on the cushion. Knowing we have an upholstery cleaner at home, I then sized up the chair, put the 60 side of the 40/60 folding rear seats down, and began to shove it into the truck. Fortunately, it didn’t stink.

Then it hit me:

  • The chair was fucking huge
  • The chair was fucking heavy
  • The chair was not even a chair–it’s a recliner!

Risking another hernia I shoved the recliner into the Escape and trudged my way to the grocery store. When I returned, Ann and I went straight to work and cleaned the chair from top to bottom. And it looks good.

The next task that awaited me was getting the damned thing into the house and then the bedroom. As previously stated, the chair is big. So big, in fact, that I had to put it on its side as I shoved it through the front door. But it wasn’t over yet.

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Happy Mother’s Day


2993810762_db98898318To all the moms out there, I wish you all a very Happy Mother’s Day. Thanks for everything you’ve done for us, for putting up with us, for your undying support of us. We appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.

These sentiments are especially true for my mom who raised her two boys on her own after losing our dad at the absolutely incomprehensible age of 42. Mom, there may have only been one of you but you kept us in line and out of trouble because we feared your wrath. Thank you for that.

And of course to Ann, my wife of almost 16 years who like all moms, has her days but still presses on like all moms must. I love you 🙂