Merry Christmas, Jerk!

The holiday season is in full swing and it’s time to look back on the things we’re thankful for. Here’s my list—and it’s pretty short.

I’m thankful to be alive and enjoy my family and friends, whom I’m also thankful for. The rest is just details. That pretty much sums it up.

As for the things I’m not thankful for,well, the list is a bit longer.

If you recall, I’ve been sandwiched between two bad neighbors for years until recently when the hillbillies finally got kicked out of their house. (Fortunately, they’ve been replaced with neighbors who are just the opposite.) But to the north of me there’s a couple that gave us problems since Day 1.

Sure, you know the husband. The guy that’s had the Happy Birthday Jesus sign on his roof for at least three years straight? The guy that built a wall between our houses without asking permission and only did it after Ann’s grandfather died? The guy who’s been to jail for beating the crap out of both women he’s been married to? Oh, and the man who, despite all this, claims to be an upstanding Christian?

Shit, if that’s a Christian, sign me up for the other team and pronto.

At any rate, I don’t watch out for this guy or his wife—she’s just as twisted as he—because they’re both hypocrites. And if I really did give a damn about them, perhaps I would have taken the time to go over to their house this morning and remind him that today was Street Sweeping Day.

But alas, I couldn’t bring myself to do it because, hell, he wouldn’t do it for me. And it’s worth noting that no other neighbors went over to tell him, either. Hmmm…

So instead…

(For optimum viewing, fast-forward to about :53 after the street sweeper goes around the truck. There’s lots of nothing going on in between.)

…I put my Flip Video camera to use again. It’s coming in pretty handy, no? And yes, I swapped the audio for something more appropriate.

A bit of schadenfreude? Perhaps, but you just don’t know the half of it.

So Merry Christmas, you self-centered jerks. And your relatives better not park over my driveway tomorrow as they tend to do each time they show up—holiday or not.

As for those I truly care for, like my regular readers and commentators, friends and family, I want to take a moment to say thanks for everything and that I hope you have a wonderful, festive, and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever it is you celebrate (or don’t) this time of year.

And if any of you were my neighbors, I’d gladly remind you that the street sweeper was coming if your car was parked in the street 🙂

Have a great day, all!


2 thoughts on “Merry Christmas, Jerk!

  1. HA! Great video with the music! Thanks for entertaining me for a bit today. Of course, I was mainly distracted by those lovely palm trees and sunshine as I rot here in a couple feet of snow in KC.


    1. Don’t let the palm trees fool you; there’s such a thing as overkill. Dude has at least 15 in his front yard–you can’t even see his house.

      But the sunshine, yeah…sorry about that…


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