Road Trip


We’re currently in Solvang enjoying lots of great food and driving through California’s wine country. A few more stops and we’re heading home.

Das Weekend

In approximately 1.5 hours I will regretfully be out of my 30s. Yes, that day is almost here: I will be over the hill on Saturday. Yay.

As far as plans go, we really don’t have any. Every place is crowded for dinner so it’s not worth the effort–even if it’s my birthday. Instead we plan on heading down to Downtown Disney so that I can build a Build-A-Bear and perhaps get into Disneyland. I’m building a bear because I got a coupon in the mail the other day–a $12 value–as my birthday landed on President’s Day weekend this year. This is the first time in, well, ever that I can recall this being the case. In any event, we’re going to at least do that.

But we may not get into Disneyland for a few reasons. First, we’re blocked out on Saturdays but being it’s my birthday, I will get in free. The bad thing? I can’t claim the gift card that Annual Passholders get should their birthday fall on a non-blackout date (at least that’s the way I understand it) and because Ann and The Kid will still be blocked, they’d have to pay the $40 blackout fee to get in. Not worth it.

Second, it’s President’s Day weekend. It will probably be insanely busy. And third, there’s a chance of rain tomorrow so that pretty much seals our fate.

I also plan on eating a really big hamburger tomorrow. Yes, you heard me right–a hamburger. You see, tomorrow was the day I intended to be at my target weight and I hit that months ago. So being that I avoided hamburgers for nearly 3 years, it’s time to indulge a little bit, and Carl’s Jr. will be the place I do it. They’ve got a new burger called The Big Carl and I don’t care how many calories, how much fat, how many Weight Watchers Points the thing contains. I’m going to eat it all and I’m going to like it!

And for what it’s worth, here’s a recent picture of me in my size 48 Fat Guy Pants. People, I used to fill those pants–no shit.

I look pretty stoned or something in that “after” picture, don’t I? I don’t photograph well.

That’s all I got for tonight. See ya later…when I’m a hell of a lot older… 🙂

Weekend in Review

To summarize…

Saturday: Since we both got our W2s the other day, we went and got our taxes done. On the way to our tax man, we saw a Volvo catch fire on the 405 freeway. At first I thought it was just a blown head gasket because of the white smoke I saw but once we got closer I realized nope, the damn thing was on FIRE. Looked like everybody got out okay but man, scary stuff. And because we got a decent amount of money back, I went out and finally bought a treadmill. I figure we will both use it so hey, it works out all the way around.

And Circuit City doesn’t have jack left.

Sunday: We visited our local tourist trap, the Queen Mary, which is free to all California residents during the month of January. Still a cool sight to see and freaking scary down in the engine room. I can only imagine what was going through The Kid’s mind as we roamed the bowels of the ship, pathways dimly lit. Afterwards we went to Ann’s folks house to do what seems to be our weekly duty: PC repair for her dad’s computer.

Problems solved, we hop back into the truck when The Kid lets out a bloodcurdling scream. Turns out he stuck his hand into a paper bag that had his new submarine pencil sharpener and a pencil. The tip of the pencil jabbed his left hand and…it was pretty ugly. We then had to drive him to the ER–he was a real trooper throughout the ordeal–to get checked out. A few x-rays later, the doctor told us it was nothing some peroxide and ointment won’t take care of.

Monday: We had been thinking of heading to Disneyland today but decided to visit Downtown Disney instead. Good thing–the line of cars going into Disneyland was insane!

The Kid got a new dog a Build-A-Bear, Ann bought some makeup, we went to Sonic for lunch and went to the AMS Character Warehouse (read: Disney discount store) afterwards. It’s the place that sells seasonal Disney stuff for cheap once the season is over. You know stuff like this.

But I picked up some pins I had been wanting to buy since last time. They are from the Summer of Champions collection and each has a character and a word of inspiration: Determination, Perseverance, and Victory. I thought those pretty much summed up reaching my weight loss goal and will also work when it comes to preparing myself for the Disneyland 5k.

Whew, that’s it. Hope your weekend didn’t include any trips to the ER 🙂

Freaky Stuff


"Hi! I keel you!"

Although this should come as no surprise to anybody, we went to Disneyland on Sunday to renew The Kid’s annual pass. With that, he’s now good for another year of good, clean Disneyland fun!

Anyway, we did all the usual things including the Innoventions attraction where he loves to wander around and touch everything. And hell, I don’t blame him–that’s what it’s there for.

While in that attraction we were given tickets to the Honda ASIMO exhibit. In case you don’t know what the heck a Honda ASIMO is, let me start by saying it’s not their latest minivan. The ASIMO is Honda’s humanoid robot and, quite honestly, it freaks me out. They always have for some reason because I have always envisioned an army of these shiny little things taking over the world, shooting freaking laser beams from their fingers and beating humanity into bloody submission in their effort to become our new Japanese robot overlords.

And you think I’m joking? No, I’m not. They effing freak me out! And as if you need more proof, here’s a clip I shot of one of these little things running:

the_terminator_large_08Now just imagine thousands of them coming at you just like that, sans the ability to feel pain but smart enough to kill you. You fillin’ me yet?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. About the only thing that will save you from the wrath of a killer army of pissed-off ASIMOs would be to build your home at the top of a flight of stairs as these guys, while pretty efficient in everything else, need to carefully negotiate a walk up just a few steps. That will give you enough time to a) run like hell or b) shoot it dead–if it can die.

So there you have it. They freak me out. But on the bright side, The Kid made himself a gingerbread cookie while at Disneyland. Take a look at me displaying his mad cookie decorating skillz:

Don’t I look impressed? The kit came with two small tubs of frosting and smaller tubs of peppermint candy canes, sprinkles, and M&M Minis. While careful at first, he eventually just dumped the entire contents of the candy cane tub on the cookie. Nobody as tried to eat it yet; it’s still in the box the kit was packed in, which cost us $6. Meh, you’re paying for the experience, right?

Oh, and I’m still making some changes around here. My first stop was my About page which isn’t as long-winded as the previous version. It’s more matter-of-fact and I seem to like it that way. I also consolidated the Pictures and Video pages into the new Media page.

More changes to come stay tuned and thanks for being patient!

Now playing: Styx – Mr. Roboto
via FoxyTunes

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"All These Guys Look Like Dicks…"

If it’s not too late, I’d like to nominate my wife for Quote of the Year, which just happened to be the title of today’s blog entry. Her quote couldn’t have fit the time or place more perfectly than it did yesterday.

It was then when we decided to head on over to the Orange County Marketplace, better known to us as the Orange County swap meet. The swap meet takes place on the same property as the Orange County Fairgrounds which, when the fair is over, is home to many other events throughout the year.

When we arrived at the fairgrounds we were greeted by a large amount of traffic, but not just ordinary traffic. A majority of the vehicles were shiny Ford or Chevy trucks lifted at least five feet off the ground with gigantic off-road tires. Okay, maybe the five feet is a slight exaggeration, but they were all off the ground high enough to where one could easily squat underneath.

As we pulled into the lot, we figured out why there were so many I-need-to-compensate-for-my-tiny-manhood trucks in the area. A sign that read “Sand and Sea Expo” or something to that effect was posted at the entrance, and that’s where all these guys with wives/girlfriends whose skin looked like beef jerky were headed.

Not only did all of their trucks look alike in terms of J.C. Whitney aftermarket accessories that included cold-air intakes and trailer hitch covers embedded with beer bottle openers or had “Remove for River” emblazoned across them, all the guys themselves looked the same: not exactly in shape and wearing some sort of t-shirt or tank top with a speed shop graphic on the back, shorts, flip-flops, shoulder hair, and close-to-the-skull haircuts. In short, they looked like a crowd whose philosophy on life could have easily been adopted from a display at their local Big Dogs store.

Additionally, none of these fuckers could drive if their life depended on it as at least three of them almost ran us over in the parking lot.

And that, my friends, is when Ann blurted out this verbal gem, and my vote for Quote of the Year:

“All these guys look like dicks,” she calmly spouted as the last asshole in a lifted Nissan Titan nearly smacked into Anthony’s stroller. The driver waved apologetically. We kept walking without acknowledging him.

I began laughing at what she said and as I tried to re-gain my composure while taking Ann’s quote into consideration, upon further review by inspecting each and every passing couple heading into the expo, I couldn’t help but notice something–she was absolutely right. It was like some strange fraternity of mid-life crisis sufferers joining forces with 20-somethings struggling so badly for acceptance and identity that this was all they could find, and the one thing they had in common was drinking their collective ass off at the river.

And when I really think about it, I’m surprised we were allowed entry into the parking lot since 1) we were driving an SUV not a truck, and 2) it was absent of a trailer hitch with a funny cover.

But what matters most is we had a good time at the swap meet, despite the presence of guys formed from the giant dick-mold and their significant others with body parts made of plastic.

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