Holy Hell! WTF is That?


shop_boyz_polyphonic_spreeNow that the holidays are upon us, the airwaves are getting crammed with commercials for new and innovative products that your friends and family will just be begging you to buy for them.

And if any of your friends just happen to be the Dalai Lama, a tall Jawa or short Kanamit, Mahalia Jackson, members of some comet tail-riding cult, Gregorian monks, or are planning to audition for The Polyphonic Spree, 2008 could be the year you play Hall & Oates by making their dreams come true!

kanamitLadies and germs, I present to you the Snuggie robe, quite possibly the strangest and ugliest article of clothing I’ve ever seen. Seriously peeps, forget Chia Pets, Clappers and K-Tel “Get It On” two-record sets–this thing takes the proverbial cake!

Touted as “the blanket that has sleeves” the Snuggie solves the age-old problem we all face: how do I keep my hands warm while not being restricted to the “inconvenience” of using a blanket?

mjinredThe solution is simple–throw on this blanket with sleeves and you’re good to go! And when I say “good to go” they mean it. The commercial actually shows a family of unfortunate souls wearing these ridiculous things at a sporting event where they looked like they would be better suited handing out leaflets for The Movementarians rather than cheering on their team. All they would have needed to make their ensemble complete was a pair of Nikes, the official shoe of the Heaven’s Gate cult.

1463_heavens_gate_468These things are just freakishly unsightly and downright ugly. Now I don’t know about you, but I think I’d rather be seen in public wearing a “Choose Life” or “Frankie Says Relax” shirt rather than these abortions of good taste. At least then I may only look slightly outdated instead of criminally insane.

And if any of you guys out there decide to buy me one, you’re in big, big trouble.

Check out the informercial:


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