You’re Adds Suck

angry-flower-guide-to-itsAs many of you may or may not know (or know but simply don’t care), I work for a company that creates ads for phone books all across the country. All of the ad sheets come to us in California, trained helper monkeys like me sort them out and from here they get distributed to various departments within the company. Some of the ads–not shockingly–get sent to India or elsewhere to be built. Go figure.

apostropheposterDuring my few months on the job I’ve come across many ads that have had misspellings, grammatical errors, or just looked like they were put together at 5 o’clock by someone who just put in his two-week notice. In other words, shitty. And because I can be a pompous ass when it comes to spelling errors (except on my blog but especially on billboards), it’s become a hobby of mine to take phone-cam pictures of the ads and send them to friends for laughs and while I thought about posting a few here after reader Kimberly left a comment about the grammar on the sign in this post, I would be exposing the advertisers at the same time. I probably don’t want to be doing that, especially if I’m going to rag on their ads–or want to keep my job.

So I decided to do the next best thing and post only the text of some of my faves, seen below. My comments, if any, are in italics following each and keep in mind that these ads have already run this way and in most cases, there were no indications to make corrections to these painfully obvious mistakes. And thanks again to Kimberly for inspiring this post!

Quick, Eagle Eye Cherry! Spot the errors!

  • “Over 25 years of serving the citizen’s of Anytown, USA” Serving the citizen’s what?
  • “Your Onsite PC Tecnicians”
  • “Serving L.A. and Ventura Countys”
  • “Exsterior Stone Specialists” Exstelsior!
  • “Helping the Wrongfully Insured Injured” (text to be corrected on ad)
  • “Helping Those That Have Been Injured Since 1970” What if I was injured before 1970?
  • “New Patient’s Welcome”

Then there are the written directions from our sales reps, which are usually good for some laughs. The following are examples of actual written directions from a sales reps, but that shouldn’t surprise anybody that’s ever dealt with one:

  • “Very Proffesional” Um, yeah…
  • “Add SuperGuarrentte logo” Aaaand these people make more money than I do?
  • “Use picture of spider not tarranchewla” Wow, just wow.

Yeah. Yup, that’s what I deal with.

On the health front, I have been refraining from riding my bike to work until I get better. I’m still coughing like a smoker at times and want to make sure I have enough air in my lungs before I ride my 8 miles a day, because dying on the way to work would really, really suck.

That’s all I gots for the night. And again, I still have a few post ideas but I’m waiting until I’m better and can stay up longer. For now, I need my rest. See ya!

Now playing: Aim – Cold Water Music
via FoxyTunes

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4 thoughts on “You’re Adds Suck

  1. Thats pretty funny. I hate people who don’t know how to use proper grammar on there ads. LOL Was the spider rep’s name Elmer Fudd? (I’m hunting wabbit’s and tarranchewla’s) Sorry, I just can’t help myself. And since you are still coughing like a smoker, have you taken the opportunity to cough in Barney Rubble’s direction? Hmmm??


    1. It’s absolutely unreal what they’ve let slip! I want to kick myself in the head when I see some of that crap! I don’t bother with Barney anymore. At the rate he’s going, death (or at least ill health) will come to him on swift wings.


  2. hey, i try not to be the grammar natzi (as you can tell from my refusal to use proper case), but my boss is a magazine publisher who can’t write his way out of a cardboard box. for example, he writes “allot” every time he means “a lot” and doesn’t know the difference between there and their. these are things that are easy to skim over because spellchecker won’t catch them, and i (stupidly) assume that the publisher-editor of a magazine should know such things, and i have to turn his dribble into something that resembles at least a third grade level education.

    one interesting fact about him is that he refers to my dictionary as “that book.”

    still, grammar and spelling is one thing. there’s a lot to be said for style, of which he also has none. fortunately for him, he’s got me to save his ass. unfortunately for him, i’m not the best grammarian and i’m too tired and underpaid to GAS anymore.

    regarding your post: wait–so you’re saying sales reps are NOT literary geniuses?! I think the crew at ALP would beg to differ, especially dave baker and glenda (the bad witch).


    1. Unfortunately, Tony, that’s usually how it goes. We need to get stupider in order to get more successfuller.


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