I, For One, Welcome 2010


I have never been more happy to see a year come to an end.

2009, you were a cruel bitch goddess that did nothing but bring pain and misery to my life. F.U., chinga tu madre, and bring on 2010 already. Happy New Year everybody, and be safe tonight while whooping it up. Thanks for hanging around ye olde blog and for coming back.

See you next year, guys 🙂

P.S. I have an interview next week. Let’s hope this is just the start of bigger and better things for the new year.

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The Flirt


Look people, even though I’ve lost a tremendous amount of weight over the last few years, I still don’t consider myself the most attractive dude on the planet. I’m just not, but I don’t think I’m exactly Brian Peppers, either.

In other words, honestly I believe that my physical appearance has improved tremendously now that the extra 95 pounds* are gone but am I model material? GTFO!

But seriously, I’m having second thoughts because there have been a few incidents over the past few weeks that have started to make me wonder.

100_8694Incident #1: In the middle of doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, Ann and I stopped for lunch at Lee’s Sandwiches (which, by the way, are the proverbial bomb). We placed our order and then while waiting for our number to be called, I noticed a poster that was advertising these incredibly awesome Vietnamese calendars branded with the Lee’s Sandwiches logo (see photo to left).

The artist in me was awestruck by the color scheme of the calendar—you can never go wrong with red and gold or Asian art in general, and there was no way I was going home without one of these.

The only bummer was that they were free with a $20 purchase and our order only came out to a little over $12. I was pretty much skunked but I still wanted one, so I approached the counter and kindly asked the young lady at the register about it.

“Yeah, those calendars…I really dig ‘em but my order was about $12. Is there any way I can buy one outright since I didn’t spend the $20 to get a free one?”

“Ummm…” she replied. I smiled.

“If it’s going to get any of you ladies in trouble, then that’s okay,” I said to the all-female crew. “They are just really cool and I’d like to buy one.”

They then all huddled in the corner. You could practically hear the gears turning and then finally came a verdict from the one that looked like she was in charge.

“In the spirit of the holidays, we’ll go ahead and give you one,” she said, smiling.

“Cool. That’s awesome and I really appreciate it. I just don’t you ladies to get in trouble for giving one away,” I said.

“No no, it’s okay,” the boss-lady insisted. I thanked them all and walked back, calendar in hand, to a quizzical Ann.

“Oh, quit flirting with the girls,” she exclaimed. I laughed as I began to examine my new acquisition. I hung it on me wall when I got home and man, I’m gonna hate to have to throw it away when 2011 comes around.

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Merry Christmas, Jerk!


The holiday season is in full swing and it’s time to look back on the things we’re thankful for. Here’s my list—and it’s pretty short.

I’m thankful to be alive and enjoy my family and friends, whom I’m also thankful for. The rest is just details. That pretty much sums it up.

As for the things I’m not thankful for,well, the list is a bit longer.

If you recall, I’ve been sandwiched between two bad neighbors for years until recently when the hillbillies finally got kicked out of their house. (Fortunately, they’ve been replaced with neighbors who are just the opposite.) But to the north of me there’s a couple that gave us problems since Day 1.

Sure, you know the husband. The guy that’s had the Happy Birthday Jesus sign on his roof for at least three years straight? The guy that built a wall between our houses without asking permission and only did it after Ann’s grandfather died? The guy who’s been to jail for beating the crap out of both women he’s been married to? Oh, and the man who, despite all this, claims to be an upstanding Christian?

Shit, if that’s a Christian, sign me up for the other team and pronto.

At any rate, I don’t watch out for this guy or his wife—she’s just as twisted as he—because they’re both hypocrites. And if I really did give a damn about them, perhaps I would have taken the time to go over to their house this morning and remind him that today was Street Sweeping Day.

But alas, I couldn’t bring myself to do it because, hell, he wouldn’t do it for me. And it’s worth noting that no other neighbors went over to tell him, either. Hmmm…

So instead…

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More Major Awards!


Many posts ago, I mentioned how I had been rewarded for correcting a certain billboard flub.

Well, today the FedEx man showed up with another surprise for me. And being that I had no idea what it was, I decided to shoot a video of the unboxing for all the world to see. What could it be? A bowling alley, perhaps?

Wonder no more! Here’s the video:

Holy shit, he is a real, carbon-based life form and not just some key-clacking blogger! Who knew? But hey, how about that prize? Pretty nice, eh?

It turns out that this was a long-forgotten prize for winning a contest at a certain training Web site. Seriously, I had taken and passed those quizzes so long ago that I had completely forgotten about my reward. So yeah, cool stuff.

But in addition to this, last week I was also awarded the download code for an exclusive cool Xbox VIP hoodie for my Xbox LIVE avatar, seen here (along with Ann’s avatar):

Only 5,000 were awarded. Bow to its magnificence.

And if that’s not enough, the mailman showed up today with my fourth $25 GameStop gift card of the year! This would have came in handy yesterday when I bought Anthony his Christmas present…but now I can buy myself something.

Does the free shit end there? Hell no, I say! When I went to the Los Angeles Auto Show a few weeks back I signed up to test-drive a new Ford vehicle and get a $50 Visa gift card. So last week I went to my not-so-local Ford dealership where I have purchased 5 vehicles and spoke to the salesman that sold me all of them. He gladly signed the voucher and then I went home, registered online, printed out the receipt and now am just waiting for the gift card to arrive. (During my visit I also informed my favorite salesman of the vehicle I may be in the market for once my current lease is up in a year–either a used Explorer or an Escape Hybrid.)

But that wasn’t Ford’s only generous offering at the car show. If you went to all of their displays and had your booklet stamped, you got a $5 Best Buy gift card! No, it’s not much but it’s definitely better than that Mazda2 Energy Drink–which I also took home from the show but have yet to try. Because, as you know, I don’t drink that shit.

Oh, and I also got a $10 certificate from Sport Chalet as their way of telling me “thank you” for being a loyal customer throughout 2009.

So the free stuff keeps on coming. Bring it on!

Window Shopping


iPod vending machine @ Macy’s. Cool!