From the Archives, Part Deux


Today’s entry is a multimedia extravaganza!

I got an e-mail last night from reader Jon–yes, I actually have readers–who had left a comment on this entry from 2005 regarding the availability of an MP3 file I had posted.

The file in question was a commercial parody for New York Telephone, a profanity-laden spoof that I had transferred from a 30-year-old cassette tape and converted to an MP3 file for all the world to enjoy. Unfortunately for Jon, the file could not be accessed because the file’s host, PutFile.com, had long since done the way of the dinosaur. Hell, I couldn’t even get Archive.org to retrieve a cached copy of the site. Well, I could have but it took to long to load and it’s just not that interesting to see.

Anyway, he e-mailed me and asked if I still had a copy of it since he was desperate to hear the thing. While replying, I decided to scan my external hard drive for the file and lo and behold, I still had it.

I happily replied to him and attached my find. He then replied to me stating that he scanned his hard drive and came across his version of the parody which is actually better quality and contains some outtakes of voice actors at the beginning.

I kindly asked if I could post it here on the blog and he obliged, provided I didn’t send all the traffic to his host. That’s no problem–SoundCloud will gladly take the hit.

At any rate, here is Jon’s version of the file. Know that the language at the beginning and scattered throughout the commercial is definitely NSFW so listen at your own discretion if you are at work or around virgin ears. One of the voices may sound very familiar to you if you watched ABC in the ’80s and ’90s as you will hear, it’s kind of funny hearing that person working so blue before getting serious about it. Jon did some sleuthing of his own and thinks that the voices at the beginning could be that of Peter Cullen or the late Don Lafontaine.

Either way, give the new version a listen and have a laugh on us.


(Click on the Down arrow to download)

Once I listened to this I got to thinking about other infamous radio/TV bits that have been around since Marconi created radio. One in particular was of a drunken Orson Welles doing Paul Masson commercial:

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the actors try to carry on normally as one of the greatest actors of our time attempts to read his lines while barely being able to keep his eyes open. And it’s not like they could just get up and walk out. Drunk or not, this was Citizen Fucking Kane! My favorite part has to be “Ahhhhhhhh, the French…champagne…” at 0:27. That’s come classic shit right there! Who knew Orson Welles was a fall-down, mad-off-his-ass drunk bastard?

And believe it or not, there’s yet another one starting Welles which is even better, albeit audio only:


(Click on the Down arrow to download)

Poor Orson. He’s trying to make a point that the script just sucks and makes no sense. Just listen–the man was absolutely right, and you can actually hear him walk away from the mic and leave the session in frustration at the end of the clip. So infamous was this one that it made the underground rounds for what seemed like an eternity and became a cult favorite, even inspiring a portion of this SCTV skit (starting at 2:06):

Yeah, I know it’s Christmas and it’s now May. I don’t care–it’s SCTV and that skit is fucking funny as hell no matter what time of year it is.

The thing is that there are literally millions of these clips out there because radio personalities, voice-over actors, etc. are just like the rest of us and will screw up on the job now and then. And when you have to read something over and over, eventually going to get tired of it and slip up or just let loose. Believe me, having a brother that worked in L.A. radio for years, I’ve heard things you would not believe.

It’s just a shame I don’t have any of them in digital format because man, they were some funny shit. But should I ever come across any of them, I will gladly share them here for all the world to enjoy.

Now go. You’re taking up valuable air.

Special thanks to reader Jon for giving me permission to post his file.

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