My Secret Stash


Okay, so I did make a few mistakes by drinking diet sodas now and then since giving them up. No big deal; I still drink juice and water most of the time.

But yesterday I had a hankerin’ for something sweet and since there’s very little of that in the house now, I had to look hard for something that would satisfy my urge.

And I found it. Or them, I should say.

For in the cabinet I had about 8 packs of Marshmallow Peeps stored away for whatever reason. Take note that they were not the Halloween Peeps, no. These were the original yellow bunny manifestation of the sugar-coated confectioneries I bought about a year ago (and quite possibly before that). I had bought them and stashed them away just in case I ever had the craving to eat them out of season.

And yesterday was the day. I cracked open the package and let the air hit them for a few hours. (Note: they are much, much better when stale.) Once they had lost all squishiness, which in all honesty they probably lost some time ago while still in the sealed package, I grabbed a few and bit their little bunny heads off. And they were good.

Tomorrow I return to work and I’m seriously wondering where my time off went. I thought this day would never get here but tomorrow I start to slam the snooze button at 5:06am once again. But I suppose I’m ready to return. There’s only so long you can stay stuck in the house playing Nintendo DS. And since hockey season has once again started, I can watch the Kings practice during my lunch hour. Since those damned Dodgers fell apart when it mattered, I have to throw my hope into my hockey team.

I just don’t want to see how many e-mails I have in my inbox when I get to work. Yikes!

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Not the Way I Intended


Last Thursday, I was officially released from the observation of my surgeon. I’m pretty much free to do nearly everything but heavy lifting, so I’m pretty happy about that. And I can drive again (as long as I don’t take any pain-killers, which I haven’t lately).

During my appointment, while he was inspecting the incision site and whatnot, I asked him how the surgery went.

“Oh my, it was a tough one,” he replied. “We had to remove a pound of fat that had grown around the hernia.”

Say what? Why wasn’t I notified earlier?

Well, either way I’ll take it. I went home with the knowledge that I was at least one pound lighter after the surgery. And since post-surgery I haven’t really had the same appetite, I know I’ve dropped a few more pound here and there–despite what the evil bathroom scale tells me (*shakes fist*)

This week I received confirmation of that fact as no less than four people commented me about my weight loss. If you’ve been trying to drop weight, let me tell you that nothing feels better than having someone comment you on your success.

But four people? Jumpin’ Jesus, that’s the virtual Holy Grail of Weight Loss. I can’t imagine what the reaction will be like once I head to work (which I’ve been cleared for on October 2nd). And I would also like to add that I’ve never felt better. The pain is gone and, believe it or not, yesterday I sneezed for the first time since the surgery. Sounds strange but I’ve been trying to avoid doing so for obvious reasons–it would have friggin’ hurt!

Oh, and evidently, I need to be more criminal-y. Just before my surgery, I asked my employer for all the forms necessary to receive disability checks during my time off. I filled out everything I needed, as did my employer and surgeon.

My surgery was on September 11th. Today is September 24th and I’m going back to work next Monday. Y’all wanna guess, as of this post, how many checks I’ve gotten from the wonderful State of Californ-i-a? Let me give you a hint: If you add the amount to itself, divide it by any number and then multiply it by 75, the answer is zero.

Don’t think too hard, peeps. And keep on cuttin’ checks to the criminals taking advantage of the system, my lovely Golden State. Despite paying into it from the day I started working, the crooks obviously need it more than I do.

We’re disappearing for a few days. Need some time away from the house and whatnot. Watch for updates this weekend and have a great week!

One Week Later


It was one week ago when I was lying in bed, head spinning at an alarming rate whenever I had to (slowly) move my frame out of bed and into the bathroom.

What a difference a week makes.

Today, I sit here with you and spill my proverbial guts about how I feel. And honestly, I feel pretty good. While there is still some soreness in the incision area and other parts of my body I’d rather not experience discomfort, all in all everything’s going well. I will visit with the surgeon tomorrow to see if he will remove the dressing and listen intently as he tells me when I should return to work.

Walking is still a chore but I’ve increased my pace considerably. It still takes a lot out of me and I’m still taking occasional naps between (grrr…) phone calls and (double-grrr…) unexpected visits. I can also rest the laptop on my lap without any discomfort so I suppose blogging is back on the menu as well.

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Surgery Update!


Alright, so it’s a few days later than I had anticipated. But I’ve got some reasons.

First, the hernia was much larger than they had expected, turning the 1.5 hour procedure into 2.5 hours. The good thing is that no extended damage had been done (such as strangulation or incarceration, which are much worse).

Second, the amount of anesthetic given to me was substantial because of my weight and the size of the hernia. As such, it knocked the holy hell out of me the days following the surgery.

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Today’s the Day


As badly as I want the surgery to be over with, I’m still a bit apprehensive about it. In a matter of hours, I will be lying flat on a stainless steel table while masked strangers wearing rubber gloves poke and prod at my innards with sterilized instruments–and quite possibly a camera. (Watch for the video on YouTube within hours of the surgery :))

I’m a bit grumpy. As with any surgery, I had to stop eating and drinking at midnight so I pigged-out until then. Not the ideal situation for a lifestyle change but it had to be done. Waking up with a dry mouth and not being able to quench it with a sip of water was…less than fun.

I’ve been just okay up to this point but I’m sure I’ll begin to get really nervous as I’m being prepared. My wish is to be lying there, have the anesthesiologist knock the holy crap out of me and wake up all fixed in what will seem like 5 minutes. I’ll deal with the recovery.

So that’s it; I’ll be relaxing with The Kid and Ann until it’s time (3:30pm PST but I must arrive for tests and whatnot at 2:30pm PST). In fact, they are eating breakfast as I type–and I’m drooling in jealousy. A bowl of cereal never looked so good.

Many thanks to all of my well-wishers, friends and everybody else who stumbles upon this blog who have taken the time to lend their support. It has been much appreciated and I look forward to getting back to blogging as soon as I’m able.

See you in a few days 🙂

UPDATED 8:44am

A special “thank you” to my local Fox affiliate for showing episodes of King of the Hill and The Simpsons that related to my situation perfectly.

In “Bobby Goes Nuts” Bobby Hill attends a YMCA self-defense class and discovers that kicking people in the testicles is the best way to protect himself. The best part is when he kicks Hank and literally puts him out of commission for days, which reminded me of how I will be after surgery. It was absolutely hysterical considering how I will be later today.

“Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo” finds the Simpson family playing a Japanese game show in order to win their plane tickets back to the U.S. At one point, Homer is dangling in a pig piñata and mentions something about “putting his hernia back in place.”

Fox, your timing was impeccable. And I applaud you.